Part II Choosing the Perfect Wedding Favors

Keep in mind the style and mood of your wedding. This depends greatly on the location and formality you choose. For example, the atmosphere at a beach wedding would be much more fun and relaxed than a more formal wedding held at a city museum. Let your surroundings inspire you.

Couples spend approximately 2-3 percent of their wedding budget on favors. It is important to know your budget and approximately how many guests will attend your reception. This gives you an idea of how much each favor should cost. The fewer guests you have, the more eccentric your favors can be. Many weddings are planned around a specific theme chosen by the bride and groom. If you choose a wedding theme, select favors that fit within it. Favors are a perfect way to enhance your theme.

Consider your color scheme when purchasing or making your favors. You may want to use several different colors to beautifully decorate your tables, or you may stick to only one color for a classic effect. It's really up to you.

Remember, you can personalize almost any wedding favor with tags (labels with your names and wedding date), by ordering monogrammed ribbons, or by making them yourself. Whether your favors are casual or elegant, they become a nice way to thank your guests for sharing your wedding day.



Bath & Body Wedding Favor Ideas

Bath Salts: Purchase tiny glass bottles or fabric bags and fill with pretty bath salts. Add a spoon or shell for measuring the salts.
Scented Potpouri or Lavender Sachets: Sew a small pillow aproximately 5x5 inches and fill with scented potpouri. Wrap in a coordinating ribbon. Used to scent drawers and closets.

Decorated Soap: Wrap decorative or great smelling soaps in tulle or tissue and tie with a bow. Consider using pretty wrapping paper and wrap a rectangular bar of soap like a tiny present. The possibilities are endless with this great favor.

Hand Lotion: Fill small (1-3 oz) size containers with homemade or store bought hand lotion. Decorate with flowers or ribbon.

Candle (casual wedding): For a casual wedding take one small 2" votive candle, wrap in tulle (a nylon netting material typically used for veils). Gather at the top and tie with ribbon or raffia.

Candle (formal): For a formal wedding consider a pair of romantic tapered candles tied together with ribbon. Add two faux gold rings to the ribbon.
Toothbrush: A great favor if either of you are dentists! Keep them in the package and tie with a beautiful ribbon. Add an event tag.




Home Decor Wedding Favor Ideas

Coaster: Make or buy a unique coaster for each guest.
Tassel: Buy a beautiful tassel and attach a special message of thanks.
Picture Frame: Purchase a wallet size photo frame and add a photo of the two of you.

You may also use them to hold place cards or special messages. Consider a frame or decorate one to match the theme of your wedding. Ornamental silver for a Victorian wedding is one example.

Candy Dish: Purchase small candy dishes at a craft or dollar store. Fill with mints, candy or nuts and add an event tag. No need to wrap this one.

Napkin Ring: Place each guest napkin in a unique napkin ring. Decorate with real or silk flowers. Match to your wedding theme if desired.

Refrigerator Magnet: These come in all shapes and sizes. Choose one to fit your wedding theme or interests or take a laminated a picture of the two of you and glue to the magnet (wallet size photos work best). Magnets are available at most hardware stores. There are several photography stores that will place your photo on a refrigerator magnet. Wrap each magnet in colored paper and accent with a ribbon bow.

Travel-Themed Wedding Favor Ideas

State or Regional Map: These can be bought at gas stations, travel shops or sport stores. Decorate with a ribbon. Great for out of town guests that want to explore the area.

Travel Mug: These can be bought at most dime or super stores. Tie a ribbon around the handle or consider having your names and wedding date put on the outside.
Compass: Stores that sell camping equipment are the best place to find this favor. Ask if you can buy them in bulk at a discount.

Mini Umbrella: A handy favor for just about everyone. Tie with a 1 inch wide ribbon in your wedding colors.

Travel Clock: Everyone needs a travel clock at one time or another. Buy in bulk and have your names printed on them.

Travel Candle: Purchase travel candles and decorate the lid with small silk flowers.

Edible Wedding Favors

Gourmet Coffee Packs: A miniature gourmet coffee pack decorated with small flowers and ribbon.

Preserve: Purchase tiny jars of jam or make yourself. Cut a circle of fabric which coordinates with your bridal colors and tie over the lid with a ribbon or raffia.
Tea Bag: Purchase a small tin of tea or tie a pretty bag of tea (paper wrapped) with a ribbon. Add your event tag.

Bottle of Spice or Herb: Just about any spice or herb will work. Your guests will think of you every time they use it! Decorate with ribbon or flowers.

Regional Food: If you are expecting a lot of out-of-town guests, try a regional food item such as a type of fruit or bottled drink. Add a ribbon or flower.

Coffee Spoon: These favors are used to add flavor to coffee. Plastic spoons are dipped in chocolate and cooled on wax paper. The chocolate covered end is then wrapped with tulle, gathered and tied with a ribbon or flower.

Homemade Cookie(s): Decorate your favorite homemade cookies (shaped into hearts or bells).

Wrap with clear plastic wrap or clear bags and tie with colorful ribbons.
Wedding Cake Sampler: Take small wax coated boxes and have your cake baker place a small piece of cake in each one.

Decorate the box with a ribbon or silk flower.

A Spoon Full of Sugar: Buy sturdy white plastic spoons. Place two to three Jordan almonds in the spoon and wrap with a circle of tulle. Gather and tie the tulle with a ribbon at the base of the spoon.

Assorted Mints: Mints are colorful and do not melt. Wrap them in tulle and tie with a pretty ribbon in your wedding colors.

Fine Chocolates: Choose fine chocolates that have foil wrappers. Wrap in a tulle circle and tie with a ribbon.

Jordan Almond Surprise: Wrap five to ten Jordan almonds in tulle and tie with a ribbon.

Decorated Candybar: Take any flat candy bar and remove the outer wrapper. Make your own wrapper using a computer and any color paper. Consider a love recipe for one side such as: "Take two people in love, add lots of trust, honesty and friendship, blend well and savor." Put your names and wedding date on the front.

Candy Kiss Rose: Place two candy kisses base to base. Wrap with tulle and attach to a floral wire using floral tape. Attach two silk rose leaves and tie a ribbon to the stem.

Truffles: Purchase tiny boxes through your local craft store or invitation supplier and fill with chocolate truffles. Decorate the boxes with paint or ribbon.

Garden Wedding Favor Ideas

Perennial Flower Seed Packet: Colorful seed packets make beautiful favors. Leave as-is or attach an event tag or thank you message.

Rose Petal Cones: Take sheets of stiff white paper and cut into 6x6 inch squares. Write in calligraphy or use your computer to print your names and wedding date in one of the corners. Fold the paper in a cone so the writing appears on the inside, top corner. Secure with clear tape. Fill the cone with rose petals. Your guests can throw them as you leave.

Silk Flower(s): A single red silk rose (or real if your budget allows) tied with a white or cream ribbon is stunning. Consider a flower that matches your theme or wedding colors. Add an event tag or have the information put onto the ribbon. Printed ribbons are available through most invitation companies.

Vase of Flowers: Most dollar stores have several small vases in stock. Decorate them with ribbon and add a silk flower or two.

Small Topiary: Topiaries are popular home décor items and will add a special touch to your reception tables. They can be purchased or hand made. Place in groups at the center of each table.

Terracotta Pot & Seed Packet: Buy the smallest terracotta pots you can find. Place a perennial seed packet in each one and decorate the pot with a raffia bow.
Tree Seedling (Evergreen): Tree seedlings are extremely popular at today's weddings. They come pre-packaged at your local nursery. They also work as Christmas favors. Add a ribbon to finish them off.

Potted Plant: Potted plants make wonderful favors and double as centerpieces when placed in groups at each table. No additional decorations are needed.


Nautical Wedding Favor Ideas

Seashell(s): If you live near a good shelling beach, spend the afternoon relaxing with your fiancé' collecting shells. Wash and decorate each one with ribbon and event tag. If you don't live near a beach, consider purchasing a bag of shells to decorate.

Toy Boat: Fill a miniature toy boat with candy and wrap in tulle. Gather the tulle and tie with a ribbon. This is a popular nautical favor.

Message in a Bottle: Buy clear bottles at your local craft store. Fill with colorful confetti or shredded craft foil and slip in a special rolled up message. Be creative and have fun.

Seashell Candle: Take large seashells (clam shell shaped) and fill each half with melted beeswax and a wick. When the wax is cool, wrap in clear cellophane or tulle and gather with a ribbon.

Brassware: Brass items are typically found in marine environments. Choose miniature brass ornaments such as an anchor or sea creature.

Sand: If you are both from different coasts, consider bringing the two of them together in your wedding favors. Take two small vials and fill one with sand from your beach and one with sand from the other. Tie them together with ribbon and add a note stating the significance of this favor.

Holiday Wedding Favor Ideas

Christmas
Candy Cane: Take one or two candy canes (the kind that are already wrapped in clear plastic) and tie with a white or red ribbon.
Christmas Decoration or Ornament: Decorations and ornaments are plentiful during the Christmas season and your guests can use them year after year.
Jingle Bell: Buy 82 mm round jingle bells at a craft or sewing store. Glue flowers and ribbon to the top with a hot glue gun.

Small Poinsettia Plant: Buy the smallest ones you can find and tie a white ribbon around the pot. Medium size poinsettias look great placed in groups at each table.
Small Wreath: Purchase small wreaths at a craft store and decorate with holly or small pine cones.

Valentine
Box of Chocolates: Small heart-shaped boxes filled with chocolates are the perfect favor for Valentines weddings. They are easy to find at most super stores and supermarkets.

Cherub Candle Holders: Inexpensive cherub candle holders can be found at most craft stores. Decorate with ribbon or flowers (candle is optional).
Heart Balloon: Fill beautiful heart balloons with helium and tie to the back of each guest chair or wine glass. This favor does double duty by becoming part of the reception decorations.

Potpourri Heart: Fill clear plastic hearts (found at craft stores) with your choice of potpourri. Decorate with flowers or ribbon.

Easter
Chocolate Eggs: Wrap several chocolate eggs in tulle, gather and tie with a ribbon. You may hide these around the reception area and have a favor hunt. Once a guest finds a favor, they sit down. The last guest to find a favor must do something interesting that you have chosen.

Basket of Joy: Fill a small plastic or natural basket with candy or Jordan almonds. Wrap the whole thing in tulle or just the candy for a different look.
Chocolate Bunny: Purchase small foil wrapped chocolate bunnies and tie ribbons around their necks in your wedding colors.

Plastic Egg: Plastic eggs are plentiful around Easter time. Buy the pastel kind and fill with candy. Tie a pretty ribbon around the center to hide the seam. Place in a small Easter basket at each table or have one large Easter basket in the center of the table and place all your favor eggs into it. Your flower girl can walk around with a basket of eggs and pass them out to your guests.

Time Period Wedding Favor Ideas

Victorian
Potpourri or Herb Blend: Potpourri not only looks beautiful, but it smells wonderful. Buy large bags in a scent you like. Wrap a 1/4 cup of the blend in tulle and tie off with a ribbon. Tip: Lavender (devotion), Rosemary (remembrance), Violets (faithfulness), rose (beauty/love), marjoram (joy/happiness), myrtle (love, marriage).

Bookmark: Create a beautiful bookmark and personalize it with your own message or buy them at bookstores. An engraved, silver plated book mark is a lasting and treasured keepsake.

Corsage or Boutonnière: Ask your florist to make a small corsage or boutonnière for each guest. These make your tables look wonderful and your guests feel important.
Decorative Mint Tin: Specialty candy shops carry decorative tins filled with mints. Many feature a flower or Victorian theme. Consider adding a decorative label to the bottom which has your names and wedding date.

Lace Sachets: Take 2.5 inch wide lace and cut into 6 inch lengths. Fold in the center (end-to-end) and hand or machine sew the edges together. Leave the top open. Fill the sachet with candy, nuts, birdseed or potpourri. Tie with a ribbon and event tag.

Decorative Thimble: Buy pretty decorative thimbles and wrap in tulle, gather and tie off with a satin ribbon.

Fan: Fans are great favors for warm outdoor weddings. Decorate them with fresh or silk flowers and ribbon.

Medieval
Bag of Gold Coins: Specialty candy stores sell chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil. Sew or buy a small draw-string bag and fill it with gold coins. Disperse the coins over the guest tables for added effect.

Incense: Take 2-3 incense sticks, wrap in colored tissue and tie with a ribbon. Have some burning in the center of the tables to add to the theme or ask your florist to work them into your flower centerpieces.

Oil Perfume: Oil perfume was used by the nobles during this time period. Buy a large jar of it at a perfume shop and pour into tiny bottles or vials. Decorate with ribbon and roses and add your event tag. Use a Medieval font or calligraphy on the tags.

Engraved Goblet: Purchase silver plated goblets from an engraving shop. Add your name and wedding date.

Renaissance
Scroll: Scrolls can contain anything you would like your guests to know. Consider listing interesting facts about the wedding party or use this format to write a special thank you to your guests. Roll and tie with a silk or velvet ribbon in your wedding colors. The sky is the limit!

Fun/Children Wedding Favor Ideas

General
Fun Pad & Markers: Purchase small notepads and crayons. Tie 2-4 colored markers to the notepad with 1" wide ribbon.
Toy Car: This is a favorite among little kids. Buy 3" metal cars, leave in the box and tie with a ribbon.

Mini Lego Kit: Buy one small Lego kit for each child. Display their creations at the head table. The kids are sure to enjoy this favor.

Disney
Mini Pumpkin: If you have the Disney theme and your wedding is in the fall, mini pumpkins are a great favor (remember Cinderella?)

Tinkerbell's Magic Dust: Wrap confetti in tulle and tie with a ribbon. Add a tag which says "Tinkerbell's Magic Dust". Have your guests throw the confetti as you leave.

Cinderella's Glass Slipper: Purchase clear plastic or glass slippers which can be filled with your choice of candy, wrapped in tulle and decorated.

Heritage Wedding Favor Ideas

General:
Chinese Fortune Cookie: Buy fortune cookies, enough for all your guests. Carefully remove the fortune with tweezers and put your own personalized message inside. An alternative is to have them made for you with your personalized message inside.
Origami Figurine: Check out a book on Chinese origami (paper folding) from your library and buy some beautiful origami paper from a craft store. Choose any animal, bird or flower pattern you like. This will go much faster if you have friends or family help you.

English Lace: Purchase lace material at a fabric store and cut into 9" x 9" squares. Take 4-5 English toffees (wrapped) and gather the lace around them. Finish with small silk roses.

African Wood Carvings: Purchase small imported wood carvings that are made in Africa. These are pretty just the way they are.

Japanese Saki: Miniature bottles of Japanese Saki make wonderful favors.
Scandinavian Candies: Purchase tiny boxes of Scandinavian marzipan candies. Most specialty candy shops will have them.

Irish Linen Handkerchief: Purchase small lace handkerchiefs and place 5 - 10 Jordan almonds in the center. Gather and tie with pretty ribbon. Add some delicate silk flowers.

Grecian
Olive Leaf Headpiece: Purchase vines of olive leaves at your local craft store and form them into circles. This will help the guests be part of your theme.
Olives: Take small jars of olives and tie with a fancy ribbon. Attach an event tag or special thank you message.

Hawaiian
Flower Lei: These chains of flowers are customary in Hawaii. They also make colorful table decorations. Ask your florist if they can make them or buy fakes.
Coconut: Purchase coconuts at your grocery store. Wrap each one with a large ribbon in your wedding colors. This favor is a real eye catcher.

Sunblock: Buy a small bottle of sunblock or skin care product for each guest. Decorate with ribbon or tulle. A silk flower adds a nice touch.

Southwestern
Mini Piñatas: Tiny piñatas are available at many specialty paper stores.
Small Cactus: Purchase small cactus for each guest and decorate with a raffia bow.


Western-Themed Wedding Favor Ideas

Mini Cowboy Hat: Mini flocked cowboy hats can be found in the bridal sections of larger craft stores. Fill them with candy and wrap in tulle.
Toy Squirt Gun: Buy the small squirt guns at a local toy store. Decorate with flowers, ribbon or pearls. Fill them with water if you dare. :)

Horseshoe: Purchase small horseshoes from a local blacksmith and paint them white with spray paint. Once dry, decorate the bend with small silk flowers and small string pearls (available at craft stores with wedding departments). Horseshoes are considered lucky for English brides.

Small Straw Hat: Glue floral sprays, ribbons or bows to small straw hats you purchase at a craft store.
Metallic Wedding Favor Ideas

Brass Bell: Take a small silver or gold bell and decorate the top with a ribbon. Have your guests ring them as you leave that evening or when they want you to kiss.
Cookie Cutters: Take two small metal cookie cutters and tie them together with ribbon. Add a flower or event tag.

Keychain: Look for a keychain with an interesting design or motif (match to your wedding theme if possible). Attach a 9x2 inch strip of tulle in a bow for added color.

Money Clip: A great favor for smaller weddings or wedding party mementos.
Sugar Spoon: A silver plated sugar spoon tied with a single 1 inch thick satin ribbon is sure to please your guests.

Other Wedding Favor Ideas

Thoughtful:

Charity Note: Write a note to each guest stating that you have made a charitable donation in the guest's name. Roll and tie with a ribbon.
List of Fun Things To Do: If many of your guests are visiting the area, make a list of fun events they can attend the day after the wedding. Roll it into a tube and tie with a ribbon.

Postcard: Buy postcards that represent your area. Write a special message on each one thanking your guests for being part of your celebration. Place each one against the wine glass or on the plate.

Word Search Puzzle: Word searches are a popular pastime. Make your own by using words which represent your wedding. Wedding party names, your interests and pet names all work well. Make several copies, roll into a scroll, and tie with a ribbon.

Newsletter: A newsletter is a great way to introduce both of your families to one another. Include photographs of your families and write short biographies for each. Fold and place in an envelope or roll and tie with a ribbon.
Poem: Write a small poem yourself or choose one from a poem book at the library. Roll it up and tie with ribbon or small silk flowers.

Paperback Book: Small books make great favors. Choose your favorite book or one to fit your theme.

Customized T-shirt: This is a fun favor that your guests can wear. Buy a box of plain T-shirts, take them to a printing shop and have an appropriate design or phrase put on them.

Photography
Candid Photo: Take a 3x5 inch photo of the two of you and get a reprint for each guest. Place each photo in a pretty envelope and decorate as you like. Consider using as a place card.

Polaroid Photograph: Have a friend or family member take a Polaroid photo of each guest as they arrive. Give to the respective guest as a favor before the night is over.

Mini Photo Album: Small albums which hold one roll of film (36 exp.) can be purchased for under $5.

Disposable Camera: Buy one camera per couple. Encourage your guests to use them during the reception. You'll probably get copies of some of the photos later!
Photo Mug: Have your pictures put on a mug and fill it with large foil wrapped candy. Buy strips of craft foil and hang over the sides of the mug for a festive effect. Tip: fill the bottom half of the mug with shredded craft foil so not so much candy is used.

Practical Items
Matchbook: This favor is available through invitation suppliers or you may purchase them yourselves and decorate.

Napkin: This inexpensive favor can be ordered from almost any invitation supplier. There is a wide choice of colors and designs available.

Sewing Kit: Small sewing kits can be purchased at your local superstore and some supermarkets for as little as a dollar. Wrap like a small present with colorful paper or craft foil.

Stamps: Do either of you work for the post office? This favor will get used for sure. Place 4 to 8 love stamps in a small envelope and add a note of thanks.
Toothpicks: Purchase a small box or other interesting container and fill with toothpicks. Decorate with ribbon or flowers and add an event card.
Phone Card: Why not buy each of your guests a phone card with 5 to 10 minutes of long distance time. Place in a small envelope and use as a place card. A gold seal is a classy touch.

Deck of Cards: There are many decorative cards on the market today. Consider having cards made with your engagement photo on the back.

Office Mementos
Mini Notebook: Notebooks can be found almost anywhere at minimal cost. Choose one with a pretty cover and tie with a ribbon.

Paper Weight: Purchase ready made paperweights or make your own. One idea is to take medium sized smooth stones, wash them and paint each one with what ever design you like. Look though magazines to get ideas and make sure to sign the back of each one.

Colorful Self-Stick Notes: These notes come in several colors and are easy to decorate with flowers or ribbon. You could wrap each one in beautiful wrapping paper.

Mini Stapler: These can be purchased at office product stores and they come in a variety of colors. Finish off with a ribbon tied in a bow.

Pen/Pencil: Pens and pencils can be purchased with your names and wedding dates on them. Decorate each one with a beautiful 1" wide ribbon tied in a bow.

Stationary: A small box of stationary makes a great favor. Decorate with a simple ribbon.

Pocket Calendar: These are thoughtful favors to give to guests toward the end of the year. They are widely available at most stationary stores. Tie with any size ribbon.

Sports
Fishing Lure: Fishing is popular with both men and women. Consider a packaged lure tied with a ribbon (keep in the package so the hooks don’t hurt anyone). This one is also good for nautical themes.

Autographed Baseball: Take one new baseball and have the bride and groom autograph it. Tie a 1" wide ribbon in a bow around the ball to add a feminine touch.

Decorated Golf Ball: Take net circles and gather around a golf ball. Tie with a ribbon and add your event tag.

Sports Cards: Purchase 5 to 10 sports cards for each guest. Wrap in clear or colored cellophane and tie a ribbon.

Tennis Ball: Take a tennis ball and wrap with tulle and a ribbon or just tie with a beautiful 1" wide ribbon. They come in colors other than yellow!

Adding Some Elegant Touches To

Your Wedding Reception Tables

Your guests will be spending an ample amount of time at their selected seats during your reception. Set the mood and theme by incorporating elegant touches to your wedding reception tables. From linens to centerpieces, there are many ways that you can do this. Here are a few suggestions to try out:

1) At a formal wedding dinner, you will be using linen napkins. Use unique, themed cookie cutters as napkin rings and slip a rose or other flower within the folds of the napkin for an extra special touch.

2) Many times you may be able to have the napkins folded in intricate ways and placed directly on the dinner plates.

3) Have one larger flowered centerpiece for the table, then place a single vase and matching flower at each place setting.

4) Use large lace doilies or solid fabric table toppers over the top of plain white tablecloths to add color and texture to the room.

5) Use small picture holders as place cards. These double as your favors as well.

6) Scatter rose petals on the table. Another option is to use inexpensive rhinestones, large beads or colored glass beads instead.

7) Using narrow “curly ribbon”, scatter small curls on the tabletop in colors that match your theme.

Favors

The perfect "thank you"

It is safe to assume that most guests attending your wedding have spent money purchasing a wedding gift; and that a few more have had to shell out cash for an airline ticket and hotel stay. A good way to say “thank you” and show your appreciation to your guests is with wedding favors.

Stay true to yourselves!

Although your favors do not need to be elaborate, they should have some thought put into them.No one wants to receive (or give!) those favors that have become cliche and will just get thrown out. Give your gifts some thought before you make a decision. A unique gift that really reflects the personality of the bride and groom is going to be the gift that everyone keeps and appreciates.

Keep costs in mind

Keep in mind how many people you need to buy for (and you may want to purchase a few extras!). If you have 200 guests at your wedding you don’t want to buy wedding favors that cost $10 each, that would be $2000 just on wedding favors! Remember, you are already providing food and drink, the favor is just a token of appreciation.


Favor ideas by the season!

Anytime of Year

Glass coasters etched with symbols of love
Candy bars with a custom wedding day label
Champagne split with a personal label that can be used as a place card as well
Candy station with different candy customized with your wedding colors

Spring

Small potted flowers
Pastel iced petit-fours with a candied flower
Cookies glazed like colorful flowers


Summer

Beach towels in your wedding colors
Colorful plastic margarita glasses
Earthenware pots painted with your wedding color and guest's name (doubles as placecards!)

Fall

Mini home-made pumpkin, apple or pecan pies
Pots of locally made jam or jelly
Fall scented candles

Winter

Mason jars layered with chocolate chip cookie ingredients and a tag with the recipe
Snowflake ornament engraved with your wedding date
Custom designed hot cocoa packets in a mug


The Wedding Guest Favor:

A wedding guest favor is a small token of appreciation for having friends and family come to celebrate your marriage to the one you love. It doesn't need to be expensive or elaborate, and it provides your guests with a small memento that they can take home to remember this special day.

There's so many different types of favors that are available that I couldn't possibly list them all here. What bridal favors you choose is a personal choice, along with how much you're willing to spend. Some favors cost under a dollar while others can be priced over five dollars each!

You also have the choice of purchasing ready made favors (convenience) or creating your own (more personal and can save you money - see the articles featured below). Ideas abound when you open your imagination and look around you.

Wedding Budget Tips

Do not worry if you cannot have your dream wedding due to a low wedding budget. Many brides with low wedding budgets still have great weddings without all the frills and without breaking the bank. The number one reason for divorce is money problems, start avoiding money troubles now. The good thing is that you already stopped thinking spend and started thinking save. A lot of brides and grooms go into debt even before they are married. They put thousands of dollars on credit cards, or take out loans, which take years to pay back. With interest on top of the basic payments plus all the new cost of living together (if not already) you can put your future plans on hold for awhile. Some of the new cost that you take in once you’re married is often over looked. Some of the bigger budget items are: financing a home, insurance, furniture, and utilizes. If you plan to have kids soon that is another huge cost to factor in to your life budget. But do not haste if you really want to spend a lot of money on your wedding, without the proper wedding budget now, then wait till you save up all the money for your high budget wedding. (My aunts did, their wedding had over 500 people and it had all that a wedding can have with a high wedding budget, however they saved for 6 years to pay for it. Most of the money, I think, when to her 3-carat diamond ring!)

Now if you are ready to start your wedding budget list right, and plan your wedding now you will find a lot of wedding budget help in this article. Below is a huge list of wedding budget ideas and budget tips for all aspects of wedding planning. All these wedding budget ideas came either from other low budget brides (No, you are not the only one.), or wedding vendors. The wedding budget list will cover wedding photography budget, budget wedding invitations, budget wedding dress, just to name a few.

Fact is: you cannot have everything in life. But think on the bright side, everyone said that you couldn’t buy happiness anyway. You have your groom and that is all that really matters, right?

Know your Wedding Budget!
How can you save money when you do not know how much you can afford?
You need to know what services cost out there and what you can afford. Be budget wise: print out and read "Average Wedding Cost" by Amena Harris, then come back. That article will give you a common list of vendor services and their prices.

All set? Then lets start!

Prioritize: Time to adjust that budget
Before you begin planning your wedding and reception take the time to sit down with your fiancée and categorize the top five items, or services that is a must for your wedding day. Doing so will help you both see each others view on a perfect wedding and help determine what items, services, or other ideas that are less important to you both. This can be from wanting your wedding in Hawaii to not wanting a full band, or wanting a designer wedding dress instead of opting for a budget gown.

Guest List: Guests do not come cheap
The fewer guests you have the less money you will spend. The more guests the more favors, invitations, cake, food, drinks, and larger reception hall is needed. Receptions being the most costly due to catering services, and the hall size most of both these services charge per-person prices. The best advise is to limit the guests you have per how long your reception will be. For example, if you had 150 guest and you want to greet everyone individually for a minute each you would need 2hrs and 30mins. Remember this does not include other activities, like dancing, eating, tossing the garter, cutting the cake, etc.

Another way to determining how many guests is to just invite close family and friends that you enjoy being with.

Invitations: Getting the word out
Anyone can make invitations. Do-it-yourself can save money and show everyone how skilled you are. You can even add a personalized touch to each. You can make them on the computer with software and pastel colored printing paper, or even handwrite with a gold pen and stationary; the possibilities are endless, be creative. If you lack creativity or don’t have time, call around to get price quotes, everyone prices differently. The higher priced one may be nicer but if this is not a top priority buy the cheaper ones. Your guests should not care if you send them a plain white invitation instead of the custom one shaped like a bride. Your guests will more than likely just write the date on the calendar and throw away the invitation anyways.
To save money on purchased invitations:
Purchase thermographed print instead of getting the invitations engraved. Thermography is raised print were as engraved is indented, however they look and feel the same.

Other ways to save:
If everyone has email or most have email then you could email invitations. The ones without email send an invitation by mail.
Save on return postage, envelopes, and printing by having your guest call to RSVP.

Wedding Registry Checklist

Many couples find themselves having a difficult time deciding on what items they wish to add to their wedding registry check list. Often, there are numerous offers from stores and service providers offering enticing deals and packages all designed to get the couple to register with them. The problem is, as enticing as some of these offers might be, are they really offering what the couple really needs or items that appeal directly to them?

To avoid getting overwhelmed by all the offers, couples should take the time to sit down and make a list of items they need and of things that are important to them. This list should be made before considering any offers or visiting the stores.

Knowing ones personal style will help greatly when trying to decide exactly where to register. A wedding registry check list should include colors and style of décor that appeals to them. Neutral colors like black, tan, brown, and white are good colors to consider as well because they will stand the test of time and fit well into any décor.

How much space a couple has to display and store items on their wedding registry check list is an important consideration as well. There is no sense in adding item after item just because a store offers it, adding items that might be too large, or items a couple thinks they might use, but end up placed in storage for future use only to later be forgotten about.

When couples are choosing what items to add to their list, it is a good idea to list items that fall into a variety of price ranges. Mix items that are expensive in with items that are inexpensive or mid range. Avoid registering hi-tech items just because they are the ‘in thing'. Couples should register items that are practical and ones in which they will use for years to come.

Couples should also think in terms of sets when adding items to their wedding registry check list. If a couple likes a particular mixing bowl, make sure to include items such as a mixer, cake and pie pans, a roller, measuring cups, a spatula, and other cooking and baking essentials.

Some couples choose to branch away from adding traditional items such as china, flatware, cookware, small kitchen appliances, and other household essentials to their wedding registry check list and add things such as registering for a cause, items for sports and hobbies, wine and wine accessories, creating a honeymoon fund where guests can donate funds towards the honeymoon expenses, or registering for stocks.

After a couple has their wedding registry check list complete, they should consider registering at a variety of places that offer items that suit their needs and tastes. Look for places that offer perks when registering with them. A couple also wants to make sure that they can update their registry often because some items might be unavailable or seasonal.

Wedding Invitation Formality and Styles

Depending on the formality, time, and hosting of your wedding, you will see there are a variety of ways to word your invitation. The styles are very similar, however, depending on your wedding, certain aspects will be different. Below you will find a compiled list of various ways to word your invitations in both formal and informal styles.

The formal wedding invitation includes: the invitation, an outside envelope, a reception card, an RSVP card, an RSVP envelope, directions to the church and the reception, information on accommodations for out-of-town guests, and thank you cards. Formal invitations include a line for the guest name, are very plain, and are engraved or have raised print (called thermograph). Most formal styles also have a raised border and black ink type. Addressing each card to a guest can be a pain, especially if you are inviting more than 50 people, however it adds a personal touch. The paper is very plain with little to no detail and it is printed on white or ivory paper. Even though engraved print is nice, you can use thermograph print if you are on a budget. Using thermograph instead of engraved print is less expensive, and has the look and feel of engraved print. Other options may be available, check with experienced wedding stationery companies under Invitations in your state.

Informal invitations differ in what is included with the card. The shape, style, print, ink color, and paper, can all vary. Informal invitations do not have a line to write in the guest name and are usually not engraved or have raised print. Informal invitations are used to reflect a couple's personality, style, or theme of the wedding. There are many styles to choose from, and you can find out about them by checking with experienced wedding stationery companies under Invitations in your state. You can also use your own unique ideas and others to design a style yourself.

NOTES:

In both Formal invitations and Informal invitations always use the first, middle and last name, in that exact order. Unless you pick an informal style, never use nicknames or initials. Only "Mr.", "Mrs." and "Dr." can be abbreviated on a formal card. On either type of invitation include days, dates, times, addresses, and always write out the word "and" between names (i.e. Mr. and Mrs., Mary and Mike). Note that in the samples below the traditional British spelling of honour and favour is often used, which is very popular. You can view different ways of wording various types of cards by looking at "Bride's parents hosting" "Options".

Better understanding the layouts listed:

Below are the most commonly used invitation styles along with a short description. Hosting situations include just the bride's parents, just the groom's parents, both bride's and groom's parents, divorced parent(s), deceased parent. Guests are invited to the reception only, even when the bride and groom are hosting. To every layout there is a formal and informal version for you to use. Some have even more options under each formal and informal version. Pick the one that best suits your situation, your formality, and use it to have the invitations made; you can also make your own.

Bride's parents hosting:

It is traditional for the parents of the bride to pay for the ceremony and the reception (see article "Who pays for what?" by Onewed.com for more information about who pays for what in planning a wedding.) For this particular case, the most used invitation layout is this one:

Formal

Mr. and Mrs. Mike Adam Harris
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Kathy Anne and Mike Adam Harris
would like you to join them
to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Options: (any card can use)

Instead of: "at The Holy Church
200 Caroline Ave

Fredericksburg, Virginia
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.":

Use: on Saturday, the first of October
two thousand and five
at four o'clock in the evening
The Holy Church
200 Caroline Ave
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Instead of: "at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange"

Use: at The Holy Church

200 Caroline Ave

Fredericksburg, Virginia

on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.

The reception afterwards will be held at

Hilton Hotel,

115 Willis Street

Orange, Virginia
Options: (any card can use)

Instead of: "would like you to join them":

Use: requests the honour of your presence


Include groom's parents:

The parents of the bride can choose to include the parents of the groom in the invitation to make them feel as if they are part of the family as well. To add them, put their names after the groom's name like this:



After: "Mr. and Mrs. Mike Adam Harris
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine"

Add:

son of
Mr. and Mrs. Tim Scott Gaine
After: "Kathy Anne and Mike Adam Harris
would like you to join them
to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine"

Add:

son of
Mary Lynn and Tim Scott Gaine


If father is deceased, and mother has not remarried:

If the father of the bride has pasted on and her mother is not remarried, the mother of the bride would use this:

Formal

Mrs. Mike Adam Harris
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of her daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Kathy Anne Harris
would like you to join her

to celebrate the marriage of her daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia


If father is deceased, and mother has remarried:

If the father of the bride has pasted on and her mother has remarried, the mother and her husband would use this:

Formal

Mr. And Mrs. Keith James Smith
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of her daughter
Amy Kelly Harris
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Kathy Anne and Keith James Smith
would like you to join them

to celebrate the marriage of her daughter
Amy Kelly Harris
with
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia


If the mother is deceased, and the father has not remarried:

If the mother of the bride has pasted on and her father has not remarried, the father of the bride would use this:

Formal<

Mr. Mike Adam Harris
requests the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of his daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Mike Adam Harris
would like you to join him
to celebrate the marriage of his daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia








If the mother is deceased, and the father has remarried:

If the mother of the bride has pasted on and her father has remarried, the father and his wife would use this:



Formal

Mr. And Mrs. Mike Adam Harris
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of his daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Joanne May and Mike Adam Harris
would like you to join them

to celebrate the marriage of his daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia




The parents are divorced:

The bride's parents are divorced and want to host together, either remarried or not. Use the individual identities of the separated parents, rather than their previously married names.



Formal

Mrs. Sylvia Bryant and Mr. Paul Williams
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Sylvia Bryant and Paul Williams
would like you to them
to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia


The groom's parents are hosting:

The groom's parents are paying for or planning the ceremony and the reception.

Formal

Mr. and Mrs. Tim Scott Gaine
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

to celebrate the marriage of
Amy Kelly Harris
to their son
Joe Tim
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Mary Lynn and Tim Scott Gaine
would like you to join them
to celebrate the marriage of
Amy Kelly Harris
to their son
Joe Tim
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia


The bride and groom are the hosts:

Either the bride's or the groom's parents are paying or planning the event. This may be used for a second wedding where only friends are invited to attend.

Formal

Miss. Amy Kelly Harris
and
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
request the pleasure of the company of

............................................................................

at their marriage
at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Amy Kelly Harris
and
Joe Tim Gaine
would like you to join them
to celebrate their marriage

at The Holy Church, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Options:

(can be used by all styles

that the bride and groom are the host)

Instead of: "Miss. Amy Kelly Harris
and
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
request the pleasure of the company of

............................................................................"

Use: The honour of

...........................................................................
Is requested
At the marriage of
Katherine Nicole Jones
To
Michael Adam Nelson
Options:

(can be used by all styles

when the bride and groom are the hosts)

Instead of: "Amy Kelly Harris
and
Joe Tim Gaine
would like you to join them"

Use: The honour of your presence
Is requested
At the marriage of
Katherine Nicole Jones
To
Michael Adam Nelson


For reception only, where the parents are hosting:

This is used when only friends are invited to the reception and the parents of the bride are hosting.

Formal

Mr. and Mrs. Mike Adam Harris
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

at an evening reception to be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 6.30 p.m.
to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Kathy Anne and Mike Adam Harris
would like you to join them
at Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 6.30 p.m.
to celebrate the marriage of their daughter
Amy Kelly
with
Joe Tim Gaine

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia


For reception only, bride and groom hosting:

This is used when only friends are invited to the reception that is hosted by the bride and the groom.

Formal

Miss. Amy Kelly Harris
and
Mr. Joe Tim Gaine
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................

at an evening reception to be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 6.30 p.m.
to celebrate their marriage

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Amy Kelly Harris
and
Joe Tim Gaine
would like you to join them
at Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 6.30 p.m.
to celebrate their marriage

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia


Both the bride's parents and the groom's parents are hosting:

This is a wedding hosted by both sets of parents (even though traditionally the parents of the bride pay for it). It may even be paid for by both parents:

Formal

Mr. and Mrs. Mike Adam Harris
and
Mr. and Mrs. Tim Scott Gaine
request the pleasure of the company of

...........................................................................
at the marriage of
Amy Kelly Harris
and
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church
Caroline Ave, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

R.S.V.P.
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Informal

Kathy Anne and Mike Adam Harris
and
Mary Lynn and Tim Scott Gaine
at the marriage of
Amy Kelly Harris
and
Joe Tim Gaine
at The Holy Church
Caroline Ave, Fredericksburg
on Saturday. 1st October 2005
at 4 p.m.
The reception afterwards will be held at
Hilton Hotel, Willis Street, Orange

Please reply to
123 Toby Lane
Fredericksburg, Virginia

12 Great Catering Tips

As far as wedding expenses go, your catering or food bill is typically your largest expense (45-50% of most wedding budgets). Therefore, choose your caterer carefully. Spend plenty of time with your caterer talking about your budget, the style of reception you'd like (i.e. buffet, food stations, sit down dinner or cocktail reception) and the types of food that you'd like to serve.

If you are unfamiliar with the caterer, always schedule a "tasting" to sample their culinary skills and take note that the food is attractively presented too.

Check References! Many brides ask for references but never call them. Make at least TWO reference phone calls. Don’t by shy, remember -- brides love to talk about their wedding!

When hiring your caterer, be sure to ask about the dinnerware or china they will be using. Some caterers will include all the dinnerware in their price - but they may be chipped, scratched and worn out. So, ask to see samples to make sure that the place settings nicely compliment the rest of your wedding decor.

Service is an extremely important element when choosing your caterer. Be sure to ask about the ratio of servers to guests. Now, this can vary depending on the type of reception you have (seated dinner versus buffet). One good rule of thumb is to have one server for every 8-10 guests.


When determining a final head count for your caterer, you should include a meal for your entertainer (DJ or Band), photographer and Wedding Day Coordinator. But, always confirm with these vendors that they do want a meal before you include them in your head count. And, make sure to separate these from your guest head count because your caterer will usually charge you less for "vendor" meals.

If your caterer is providing meals for your DJ, Band or photographer, be sure to ask your caterer where the meals will be served for them and confirm that they will be eating somewhere "out of sight" from your wedding guests.


Ask your caterer to prepare a "leftover basket" that is a sampling of all the food at your reception. It's likely that the bride and groom will not get a chance to eat and enjoy all of the wonderful food at the reception. Even if you're leaving the next day on your honeymoon, it makes for a great late night snack.


Be sure to ask your caterer about "guaranteed numbers". Many caterers will quote prices based upon a minimum or "guaranteed" number of guests. Many base their figures on a minimum of 100 guests. If your final guest count is less than a hundred, there may be an additional fee.

Find out what decorations (if any) are included in the caterer’s price. Ask to see pictures of their table displays. Some caterers that do buffets or food stations will include floral arrangements and other decorations. As your wedding plans progress, talk to your caterer about your color theme so that all decorations and floral arrangements will coordinate.


A recent trend when doing buffets or food stations is to have a menu board. This is where the names of the entrees (and sometimes a brief description) and items served are scrolled elegantly onto a piece of paper displayed on a board or in a picture frame.

Be careful on how many hors d'oeuvres you order. Do you really need eight different varieties? You'd be surprised - some caterers will suggest this! If you are doing hors d'oeuvres - four different varieties is usually sufficient. For more money-saving catering tips, check out the Frugal Wedding.

10 Things NOT to Do Before Your Wedding

Don't start your wedding planning without a budget. One of the most stressful elements to wedding planning usually is money. Make sure you decide up front how much your total wedding budget is going to be and who will be contributing and how much.


Don't spend more than your budget or what you can afford. Your wedding day is an important day, but it is only one day. You don't want to start your new life together by going into "serious" debt from your wedding expenses and being strapped with that debt for the next five years.

Don't rely upon oral agreements with vendors. Get everything in writing!


Don't try and do everything yourself. Planning a wedding can be a full time job in itself. So, don't try and take on such an enormous project alone, delegate as much as you can! When it comes to weddings, everyone loves to help, so let them!


Don't insist on having it your way all the time! Come to an agreement on the things that are less important.


Don't skimp on your photography. Your wedding day goes by so fast, and after it's over, all you'll have left is your memories and your pictures.


Don't get crazy over every detail. It can really take the pleasure out of the wedding planning process. I mean, will it really matter that the ribbons for the favors are baby blue instead of ice blue?


Don't forget to thank everyone involved in your wedding and those that gave you gifts. Also, don't let those thank you notes pile up. Send them out promptly after you receive a gift.


Don't overload yourself the day before your wedding. This is not the time to put together 200 favors. Try to do only one or two small tasks and leave the rest of the day to relax and pamper yourself.


Don't expect perfection for your wedding day. Expect a "terrific" day and set reasonable expectations. Never forget, the main goal is to get married.

Wedding Vendors & Contracts: What You Should Know Before You Sign

Read your contracts carefully. Read every word. Ask questions if something is unclear. Ask to change wording in the contract if you are uncomfortable with any of the language. Don’t just assume it’s a "standard" contract and that everything will be alright.


If the contract is lengthy, ask to take it home to review. Or, ask the vendor to fax you a copy of the contract before you meet with them.


Before you give a vendor a deposit, always get a written contract which includes all important information such as the date, time and what the wedding vendor is expected to perform.

Be as specific as possible in the description. For example, don’t just say flowers to be delivered – put the number of bouquets, the type of flowers and the date, time and location for the delivery.


As you make changes throughout the planning process, be sure to update your contract – even if you just hand write the changes and sign and date it.


Think carefully about your choices before placing deposits with vendors. Most deposits are nonrefundable.


Most vendors will require a deposit to hold your date. Try to pay as small of a deposit as possible and never pay the full amount up front when booking several months ahead. You never know if a vendor may go out of business and take your deposit with them. Avoid any vendor who insists on being paid in full up front!


Whenever possible, use credit cards for all payments to vendors. If there is a problem or dispute, you will have a much better chance of getting a refund than if you pay by cash or check -- even if it is several months later.


When paying your wedding vendors and making purchases for your wedding, use a credit card that "gives you something back". There are credit cards that will earn points for everything now – air miles, gifts, long distance calling – you name it!


If you have any questions or doubts about doing business with a wedding vendor, call the Better Business Bureau in your area. And, ALWAYS, ALWAYS check RECENT references! Don’t rely on someone who used their services a few years ago.

20 Ways to Panic-Proof Your Wedding Day

Tell everyone providing you services exactly what your requirements are. Put everything in writing and make sure your wedding vendors sign the agreement. Be sure to specify items you don’t want as well (i.e., racy rap songs, too many posed photos, onion dip, whatever else you don't want).

Two or three days before the wedding, call all your wedding vendors and verify your bookings. Have them read back to you the time, date, and location of the wedding as they have it noted as well as the services or items they'll be providing. That way, you’ll know if they have the right information. Make sure they know how to get to the site. It’s a good idea to send a reminder letter as well. Bring your list of phone numbers so someone can make a phone call if they don’t show up.


Avoid asking friends or family to provide food, flowers, or official photography. It will create an awkward situation if you're not pleased with the results. It's easier to expect perfection from someone being paid rather than a favorite uncle whose feelings may be hurt if you complain about his photography. He probably also doesn’t have a spare camera to bring along if his breaks or an assistant to fill in if he catches the flu and can’t make it.

Never let a friend serve as a bartender. He may pour too much liquor which could quickly deplete a limited supply, run up the bill, or get guests too drunk. He might also get drunk, or leave the bar unattended to socialize.


Avoid heavy cake tops or too many tiers. These can make the cake unstable.

Protect your wedding dress. Never iron it or attempt any kind of touch up. If it is badly wrinkled, contact the bridal shop for pressing. Do not eat, drink, or smoke after putting the gown on. Do not apply makeup and keep away from pets. If you’re traveling to the wedding in your gown, avoid exiting the car near dirt or bushes.


When you get your wedding dress, practice putting it on, walking, turning, and moving like you will during the ceremony. Get a feel for how the dress moves and how much extra time you’ll need to handle the train.


Avoid having children under age three in the wedding party. If you do, let one of the attendants walk with the child or pair them with an older child.

Secure fake rings to the ring pillow so they won’t fall off. Have the Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man carry the real ones.

Make sure someone knows of any plans to use alternate entrances to the ceremony (side doors, back doors) so they won’t be locked out for the ceremony.

Accompany the bridesmaids to their fittings to make sure the dresses are not altered to be too short, too loose, or too tight.

Advise out of town members of the wedding party to arrive early on the day before the wedding so you don’t run the risk of missing or delaying the rehearsal.

Have attendants arrive early to get dressed so there is no delay when the photographer arrives and no worry about making the wedding on time.

Have a spare tape recorder, batteries, and extra tape in case the one you’re planning to use to record the vows acts up.

Get your marriage license in advance of the ceremony and have it with you on the wedding day. You don’t want to discover on your wedding day that you aren’t licensed to be married!

Have someone assigned to take care of the last minute details and ensure the bridal party is dressed and ready to go. She can answer the phone, go on errands, and make sure everyone has something to eat before the wedding.

Practice driving the route to the ceremony at the time of day and day of week to check out traffic patterns. That way you’ll know how much time you’ll need to get to the site.


Bring along an emergency bag. Include a needle and thread, safety pins, nail polish, hairpins, and extra panty hose. Also tuck in a couple of cookies and some hard candy in case someone needs a quick pickup.


Try not to stay up late the night before the wedding. Avoid drinking too much alcohol or caffeine so you’ll be at your best all day.

If something goes wrong, don’t panic. You’ll probably be the only one who notices that the ribbons in the bridesmaid’s bouquets are the wrong color. Don’t let little things ruin your day. Accept the idea that your wedding may not (and in fact, probably will not) go as planned. Always keep your sense of humor!

23 Ways to Keep Your Romance Alive

23 Ways to Keep Your Romance Alive

Ban the quick kiss, share a sexy secret code ... and other itty-bitty ways to make him lovesick for you every day of the week.

In a perfect world, each moment of a relationship would be like that weak-kneed romantic scene in The Notebook when Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams finally get together, kissing in the rain.

So what keeps us from living that swoony, loopy-in-love life? Nothing more than getting stuck in the same day-in, day-out patterns and letting gushiness shift to the back burner. Okay, maybe that and the lack of a beautiful African desert background. Let Cosmo play mushy-moments director and push you to pack as much lovey-doveyness as possible into your daily routine. That means seizing every opportunity to sweeten up even the most seemingly unsentimental times together.

Here, easy but so-worth-it ways to jump-start both of your hearts.

1. Share a Secret Code
Pick a word that's likely to come up occasionally in conversation (heat, midnight, bedroom, whipped cream...) and agree that every time someone uses it, you have to touch — anything from a kiss to a lingering thigh stroke under the table.

2. Transform Dinner into Dining
That midweek post-grind meal you devour together? Make it register off the mush-o-meter with some tiny adjustments to the atmosphere. "Pull out your nicest dishes and light a couple of candles, even if you're just having a mushroom pizza," suggests Gregory Godek, author of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic (Casablanca Press, 2000). "It's the mood, not the food, that sets a romantic scene. So stick a bouquet of daisies from the corner store in the center of the table, lower the lights, and turn up Enrique Iglesias or Bessie Smith. You could even conveniently forget the utensils so you have an excuse to feed each other."

3. Get Swept Off Your Feet
Make up your own tango moves and groove with your guy for 15 minutes while you wait for dinner. Pop in the Marc Anthony CD, then press your pelvises together, entwine your legs, and twist and twirl around the living room. "Slow dancing is so intimate," says Godek. "The way you stand hip-to-hip, block out the world, and sway to each other's rhythms ... now you're really cookin'."

4. Outlaw Grunge-Wear
You and your guy are having a Blockbuster night. But wait, think twice before you change into your lounging-on-the-couch clothes ... you know, oversize T-shirt, shabby sweater. That gear isn't exactly a recipe for a night of making googly eyes. Instead, slip into something a little more comfortable but a lot more cuddle-enticing. "A fitted T-shirt or a semisheer tank top, especially when worn without a bra, is a lot sexier than some too-big shirt you're swimming in," says fashion designer and Cosmo contributing editor Shoshanna Lonstein. "Pair it with your favorite perfectly worn-out blue jeans or khaki cutoffs for a casual but irresistible look."

5. Dish with Him
Flash back to the '50s and get passionate over pots and pans. "Okay, it's totally old-fashioned and cornball, but I find doing dishes together incredibly romantic," says Janet, a 28-year-old chiropractor. "My dishwasher went on the blink one night, and my boyfriend offered to help clean up. We both rolled up our sleeves and got sudsy in the warm water. We talked about the places we'd love to travel to, the crazy things we'd like to try just once in our lives, and our hands kept touching — we just got completely lost in each other as we did this mindless activity. It was so sweet and oddly intimate that I haven't bothered to get the dishwasher fixed."

6. Touch Tenderly in Front of the TV
When you're both chilling out in front of the tube, heat things up with some hands-on action. "Give each other mini foot massages while watching the evening news," suggests Laura Corn, author of 101 Nights of Grrreat Romance (Park Avenue Publishers, 1995). "Or lay your head in his lap and let him stroke your hair." For the ultimate drive-in date experience, invest in an extralong extension cord and watch TV outside on the deck or on lawn chairs on the front stoop underneath the stars.

7. Flash Him
When no one's looking, give your guy a sneak peek in public. Granted, it's not exactly violins-in-the-background romantic, but it's certainly guaranteed to send his heart (and pulse) soaring.

8. Send Him a Sweet Afternoon Treat
If you know your guy's facing a particularly grueling, sucky afternoon at the office, call up a local restaurant that delivers and send him an I'm-thinking-about-you lunch, suggests Ilene Rosenzweig, coauthor of Swell: A Girl's Guide to the Good Life (Warner Books, 1999). Let him know dessert's waiting at your place later.

9. Play the Dating Game
Get out of the same old Saturday-night film-and-food groove. For your next date, come up with three out-of-the-ordinary evening ideas — perhaps a starlit ferry ride, a game of mini golf, dinner at a restaurant with a kind of food you've never tried, or even seen, before — and write them down on index cards, suggests David D. Coleman, coauthor of Date Smart! How to Stop Revolving and Start Evolving in Relationships (Prima Publishing, 1999). "Then, have your guy blindly choose one of the cards and embark on a mysterious, exotic adventure."

10. Keep Him in the Dark
For the ultimate lights-out love nudge, fake a power outage. "Unplug the phone, computer, and TV, then turn off all the lights," instructs Godek. "With nothing else to distract you, you have no choice but to break out the candles and cling to each other as you tell scary ghost stories ... or just plain cling to each other."

11. Ban the Peck
Replace that chaste, no-effort lip graze with a 10-second smooch — and make every single kiss a bit of bliss.

12. Map Out the Hot Spots in Your Neighborhood
Make it your mission to fool around in every prime passion nook of your neighborhood — behind trees, on nearby park benches, under a lamppost. Every time you walk out your front door with your dream guy, hit one of these desire-designated areas until you have the whole area PDA'd.

13. Write Him a Sexy Check
While you're taking care of the bills, take care of your guy with a personal payment for head-to-toe kisses, suggests Godek. "Tell him he can cash in anytime."

14. Make Out Every Time You're Alone in an Elevator
Use this love-lifter as a cue to sneak in a secret smooch session.

15. Read Seductive Stories to Each Other
Pick up a steamy best-seller like Vox, by Nicholson Baker (it certainly got Monica boiling for Bill), and take turns reading it aloud. "My boyfriend and I love sharing juicy novels," says Liz, a 30-year-old producer. "We'll get in bed or curl up on the couch and take turns being the narrator. At first I was a bit nervous and rigid — I sounded like Rod Serling from The Twilight Zone — but eventually I found my natural rhythm and got really turned on by it. It's so utterly romantic because we're in this sort of fantastical fictional world together rather than sticking our noses in our respective books. And listening to my boyfriend's voice is unbelievably sexy."

16. Go Postal
Create some surprising postal passion by mailing I-want-you notes to your man. Start by telling him exactly what you love about every part of his body.

17. Play Barber Babe
Show your man some passionate pampering by giving him a sensual shave. After his morning shower, lather up his face with a great-smelling shaving cream and slide the razor in the direction the hair grows. "It's a way to steal a very intimate moment when you're both usually so rushed to get out the door," says Kelly, a 26-year-old massage therapist who loves to groom her guy. "Not to mention the perfect excuse to straddle him."


18. Tempt Him with a Slew of Where-to-Find-You Clues
Make your usual rendezvous a million times racier by keeping them mysterious for your man. "I have a standing Friday-evening drink date with my boyfriend," says Sue, a 27-year-old tax attorney. "To keep it exciting, I have this trick for spicing things up: I send him on a treasure hunt ... to find me. I pick an obscure, out-of-the-way bar, one we'd never normally go to in a million years. Then every hour on the hour during the workday, I send my boyfriend an e-mail feeding him clues about where I want him to meet me that night — little riddles that hint at the name, landmarks that will lead him to the location. When he puts all the pieces together, he finds me waiting in the most private booth I can find. Now he's scheming up the next mystery meeting."

19. Hold the Sports Section Hostage
Steal the paper before your guy gets a chance to check out the scores. Place a ransom note on his pillow and insist that your demands for a.m. sex, smooching, and snuggling be met before you'll consider giving him access to the stats.

20. Outlaw Work Talk
Make office gripes and groans a taboo topic when having dinner with your doll. "My boyfriend and I make meals our time," says Anne, a 29-year-old furniture maker. "We talk about upcoming vacations, friends, movies — anything that lets us share ideas instead of bombarding each other with tales of work woes. After eight hours of focusing on other people on the job, it's such a luxurious treat to indulge in some time that's all about us." If professional topics accidentally pop up, quash them by saying, "Get your mind out of the grind and back onto me."

21. Give Him an All-Day "Scentual" Reminder
"The next time your guy sleeps over, spritz a small item of clothing — scarf, underwear, camisole — with your signature fragrance, and slyly slip it into his briefcase or backpack," suggests author Corn. "With your sexy scent wafting out every time he reaches into his bag, he won't be able to take his mind off of you." When the clock strikes 5, he'll follow his nose all the way to your front door.

22. Get a Sound Track
Create your relationship repertoire by picking a few favorite songs (a sentimental score, a sultry in-the-mood croon, a sassy "Feel the Earth Move"-type number) that really capture the essence of your couplehood and make them yours by playing them on romantic, sexy occasions.

23. Compliment Each Other in Public
"My girlfriend tells everyone that I'm the most talented person she's ever met," says Andrew, 28, a teacher. "She'll tell a cashier, 'We'll take a chocolate brownie because my guy so deserves it.' When she introduces me, she says, 'This is my hilariously funny boyfriend' or 'Meet my handsome boyfriend. He puts George Clooney to shame.' My heart jumps every time. I swear it makes going to the deli sexy."



Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.

The Destination Wedding Workbook Pt III

The Destination Wedding Workbook
by Paris Permenter & John Bigley, editors of Lovetripper.com

Would you like to get married on your honeymoon?

Destination weddings are becoming more and more popular. Around the world, you'll find hotels and resorts that offer on-site help to plan your wedding, from details like the wedding license to extras such as music and photos.

To help couples, we've written The Destination Wedding Workbook, a 158-page guide that covers everything you need to consider when planning a destination wedding. Whether the special day involves just the two of you or whether you'll be inviting friends and relatives to join in the occasion, this workbook includes timelines, worksheets, questions you MUST ask, and more!

We have compiled this book following hundreds of interviews with wedding planners, hotel managers, food and beverage managers, travel agents, and brides just like you. This guide includes:

* Budgeting for your destination wedding
* Budgeting for your honeymoon
* Questions for each other about the wedding
* Questions for other brides
* Questions for resort wedding coordinators
* Questions for local wedding planners
* Questions on traveling to international destinations
* Your Travel Itinerary
* Cruise Passenger Itinerary
* Emergency numbers worksheet
* Confirmation number worksheet
* Wedding coordinator worksheet
* Newspaper announcements
* Timeline
* Save the date card
* Guest list
* Guest newsletter
* Site inspections
* Group airline arrangements
* Booking a room block for guests
* Reception worksheet

Destination Weddings Pt II: Where to Marry

Destination Weddings: Where to Marry

Where will the two of you marry? Do you dream of an intimate beach ceremony as the sun slips into a tropical sea? A regal ceremony set in an historic castle? A mountain chapel with a handful of your family and friends?

You've got a world of choices -- now all you need to do is match your dream to a destination. Use these pages to start narrowing your choices, based on local marriage regulations, climate, atmosphere, and cost. You'll find details and in-depth articles about destinations around the world in this section.

Step one: are the marriage rules of the destination going to be a fit with your schedule? Some destinations such as France require a long, long residency period, making those locations better for a vow renewal than a destination wedding. Check our database of marriage regulations around the world to see if your dream destination will work for your travel schedule:

Marriage Regulations and Rules: This extensive section covers the details you'll need to know to get a marriage license, from residency requirements to blood tests to paperwork. This section includes the 50 US states and destinations worldwide.

Step two: check out the destinations to find learn more about planning a wedding there:

USA Weddings

Caribbean Destination Weddings

Mexico Weddings

Weddings in Canada, Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, and the South Pacific

Step 3: let the planning begin!

Planning a Destination Wedding

Destination Weddings

Destination Weddings: Are They for You?


Many couples are saying "I do" to the idea of destination weddings not only as a way to make the occasion more special, but also as a means of simplifying the whole process.

Would you like to get married on your honeymoon? Destination weddings are becoming more and more popular with couples who are eager to skip the fuss of a traditional wedding and jump right into the fun. Around the world, you'll find hotels and resorts that offer on-site help to plan your wedding, from details like the wedding license to extras such as music and photos. Whether the special day involves just the two of you or whether you'll be inviting friends and relatives to join in the occasion, a destination wedding can be a way to create wonderful memories.

POPULARITY OF DESTINATION WEDDINGS

Destination weddings have caught on for several reasons. According to hotels and resorts around the world, they're especially popular with:

* couples on a budget who don't want the expense of an elaborate wedding.
* couples who don't want the fuss of a wedding and all that goes with it at home.
* couples on their second marriage looking for something a little different.
* those on their second marriage who'll need to bring along children on the
honeymoon. The children's programs at many resorts offer privacy for
the couple and a chance to enjoy a vacation with their new family.
* couples who are bringing a small wedding party. Sometimes the bride and groom
stay at one resort and the wedding party at a neighboring resort, giving
everyone privacy. Couples who are bringing a sizable wedding party and
would like to take over a resort.

Many small resorts like Florida's Little Palm Island offer groups the option of taking over the entire property. This type of stay must be arranged far in advance. The wedding party has the run of the resort for their stay, with plenty of room to party and play. "Little Palm Island is a really private, secluded getaway for wedding groups," explains Susan Belanski, Director of Sales. "We close off the entire island." When wedding parties take over an entire property like Little Palm Island, regular house rules, such as no guests under age 16, are suspended so wedding parties can invite anyone of their choice.

DETAILS, DETAILS

Before you say "I do," plan to do a little research into the "do"s --and "don't"s -- of the local marriage laws. Many countries have loosened their marriage regulations, making it easier for foreigners to tie the knot. Even so, you'll need to do some research.

"The reason some couples have problems with their overseas wedding is that they are unfamiliar with the marriage laws, rules and regulations. In researching your destination wedding, couples make sure they learn:

* if their home country will recognize a wedding in the designated
country as valid
* the minimum residency period before the marriage can be performed
* what paperwork you'll need to bring from your hometown house of worship
if you're planning a religious ceremony
* what proof is required if you're divorced or widowed
* if blood tests are required and, if so, if you can bring them from your
home doctor or if must they be performed locally
* if there will be English-speaking staff members available to assist you
* costs and fees
* typical weather during the month of your wedding
* special hotel rates for members of the wedding party
* what previous experience the hotel or resort has in planning foreign weddings

Destination weddings can also lead to another joyous celebration: destination anniversaries. Couples who wed on their honeymoon can revisit the very spot where they married and share the memories of that occasion.


by Paris Permenter & John Bigley

Plan for a Wedding Day, Prepare for a Lifetime of Marriage

Plan for a Wedding Day, Prepare for a Lifetime of Marriage
I love weddings. I love the idea of giving yourself completely to the one you love and who loves you back. A wedding represents such a special union between two people and it should be celebrated. It should even include all the beautiful details we dream about from childhood and the pages of the latest bridal fashion magazines. With that I have to admit, as much as I love weddings and the details that go into planning a perfect day, I am more in love with marriage itself and the whole process a couple needs to go through to "learn" each other. (Notice I didn't say teach.)It is true that marriage isn't easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. We always have to work for the things we appreciate most.Take my advice: When planning a wedding, first things first, register for couples education.This will be your most important task when planning a wedding. The choices you make now before you wed will determine the success of your marriage and relationship. "Love Is Blind" and the divorce rate is a statistic that proves this saying all too well.You and your mate need to take responsibility for the future of your marriage. Unless you have been well trained and educated in relationship 101 or marriage boot camp, you can only be realistic that you need some guidance before the big day arrives.Think of it this way...Marriage is like flying a plane. You would never take the controls and fly a plane without education and training...it doesn't just take care of itself. Also, it is inevitable, that as a pilot, you will encounter turbulence, rainy days and stormy weather...(similar to marriage) this does not make you a bad pilot (spouse)...how you handle yourself in these situations will determine what you're made of. It only makes sense to be prepared with skills and education, so that when you experience turbulence in your relationship you are prepared as a couple to weather the storm.

Rehearsal Dinner What is it?

Rehearsal Dinner What is it?

A rehearsal dinner is typically an informal meal after a wedding rehearsal, which takes place the night before the actual wedding. It's a chance for the wedding party to get to know each other better, and most importantly, it's a chance for the bride and groom to thank all the people who have helped them out with the wedding planning.

Do I have to have one?

You don't have to have one, but there are very few reasons not to. You're going to need to eat on that night anyway, why not eat with your loved ones?

Who pays?

Traditionally the groom's parents pay but nowadays you'll often see couples include the cost in their overall wedding planning budget. Another scenario is for both parents to host it together.

Who plans it?

It is traditionally the realm of the groom's mother. Check in with your mother-in-law and see if she is willing and able to do so. If she wants to, it's a good idea to let her – it gives her a role in the wedding and even if the rehearsal dinner is completely different from your taste, guests will presume that you didn't plan it.

What happens at a rehearsal dinner?

Along with eating, of course, the bride and groom offer up thanks and toast their families and the wedding party. There are often many other informal toasts. Sometimes this toasting becomes a roasting of the bride and groom – but it's all in good fun. You may also plan ice-breaking games or other activities including poker, pool, darts, a short funny home-movie, or backyard games. If you're not having a bridesmaid's luncheon, this is also an appropriate time to give bridesmaids and groomsmen gifts.

How do I invite my guests?

Typically, printed invitations are sent a few days after you send the wedding invitation. These don't need to be elegant and expensive – the easiest thing to do is to get the templates to print on your home computer.

Do I have to invite out-of-town guests?

Once upon a time, a rehearsal dinner was only for the wedding party and the immediate family of the bride and groom. Now, wedding magazines will tell you that you have to invite all of the out-of-town guests. Here's my opinion: it is a nice gesture, so that you don't leave them at loose ends in a strange town the night before the wedding. However, if you don't invite them, you can include a list of restaurants or things to do in the area on your wedding website. Also, you can hold the rehearsal dinner on the early side, and then include a note in your invitations saying "If you're in town the night before the wedding, we'd love to see you! We'll be at the East Side Pub after 9 pm – please join us if you can make it." A nice touch is to get the bar to provide pub snacks and appetizers to your guests, which will still be less expensive than providing them dinner.

What if I can't afford a rehearsal dinner?

First, reexamine your expectations – it doesn't have to be some grand formal thing at a restaurant or catering hall. Some of the best rehearsal dinners I've seen are relaxed backyard barbecues which allow people to really get to know each other. Set up a volleyball net or get a game of touch football going. It can even be a potluck. But do have one – it's your opportunity to thank all the people who made your wedding day possible.

Wedding Trivia

National Association of Wedding Ministers

Wedding Trivia

BAD LUCK
Seeing an open grave, pig, or lizard on the way to the ceremony, or hearing a crow after dawn on the morning of the wedding are all thought to be omens of bad luck. Catching a glimpse of a monk or a nun is also thought to be a omen of misfortune because of their association with poverty and chastity.

BEST MAN TRADITION
Among the Germanic Goths of northern Europe in 200 A.D., a man usually married a woman from within his own community. However, when there were fewer women, the prospective bridegroom would capture his bride from a neighboring village. The bridegroom was accompanied by his strongest friend (or best friend), who helped him capture his bride.

BRIDAL PARTY
This term has many origins from different cultures. In Anglo-Saxon times, the groom had the help of "bridesmen" or "brideknights" to help him capture and/or escort his bride. Later they would make sure that the bride got to the church and to the groom's home afterwards. The women who accompanied and assisted the bride were called "bridesmaids" or "brideswomen".

BRIDAL SHOWERS
Bridal showers were meant to strengthen the ties between the bride and her friends, provide her moral support, and help her prepare for her marriage. Gift giving at showers dates from the 1890's.

BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES
The tradition of bridesmaids dressing the same as each other and in similar style to the bride comes from ancient days when it was believed that evil spirits have a more difficult time distinguishing which one is the bride and putting a hex on her.

CAKE
In the 1st century B.C. in Rome, the cake was thrown at the bride or broken over her head as one of the many fertility symbols which then were a part of the marriage ceremony. Cutting the wedding cake together, still a predominant ritual at weddings, symbolizes the couple's unity, their shared future, and their life together as one. The three tiered cake is believed to have been inspired by the spire of Saint Bride's Church in London, England.

CARRYING THE BRIDE OVER THE THRESHOLD
Traditionally, the bride had to enter her new home the first time through the front door. If she tripped or stumbled while entering it was considered to be very bad luck. Hence the tradition of the groom carrying the bride over the threshold.

DIAMOND ENGAGEMENT RING
The diamond engagement ring originated with King Maximillian who presented Mary of Burgundy with a diamond ring in 1477 as a token of his love.

The Venetians Popularized the custom during the 15th. century. Since the diamond was the hardest and most enduring substance in nature it followed that the engagement and marriage would endure forever.

DOWRIES
As civilizations developed, political, military, and economic ties became very important to prominent families and clans. Arranged marriages were a means of cementing ties between families, middle class family businesses, and countries. A man's daughters, who were considered to be his property in those days, provided a means of securing needed alliances with other families. Thus dowries were introduced as a means attracting and securing the most beneficial family alliances possible.

ENGAGEMENT RING
In 860 A.D., Pope Nicholas I decreed that an engagement ring become a required statement of nuptial intent. He insisted that engagement rings had to be made of gold which signified a financial sacrifice on the part of the prospective husband.

FLOWERS
From the earliest times, brides have adorned their hair with flowers and carried bunches of flowers. Traditionally, each type of flower had a special meaning and significance in and of itself. Flowers were often thrown at the couple after the ceremony. However today, most brides pick their flowers for color and personal appeal not based on the traditional meaning of particular flowers.

The groom's flower, worn on his lapel, usually matches one of the flowers in his bride's bouquet. This tradition goes back to medieval times when knights wore the colors of their lady in tournaments.

GARTER AND BRIDAL BOUQUET TOSS
In parts of Europe during the 14th contrary, having a piece of the bride's clothing was thought to bring good luck. Guests would literally destroy the brides dress by ripping off pieces of fabric. In order to prevent this, brides began throwing various items to the guests - the garter belt being one of the items.

In order to avoid this problem, it became customary in the 14th century for the bride to toss her garter to the men. Sometimes the men would get drunk, become impatient, and try to remove the garter ahead of time. Therefore, the custom evolved for the groom to remove and toss the garter. With that change the bride started to toss the bridal bouquet to the unwed girls of marriageable age. Tradition says that whoever catches the bouquet shall be the next to marry. She keeps the bouquet to ensure this destiny.

GOOD LUCK
Seeing a lamb, frog, spider, black cat, or rainbows on the way to the ceremony is believed to be a sign of good luck!

GROOM'S CAKE
The tradition of a "Groom's Cake" comes from England and Ireland. There, the traditional groom's cake is a fruit cake with white icing. The groom's cake is usually served along with the traditional wedding cake. Today groom's cakes are very often chocolate instead of the traditional fruit cake.

HONEYMOON
After "kidnapping" his bride, the groom would take her and go into hiding. By the time the bride's family tracked them down them, the bride would probably already be pregnant! A "bride price" would then be negotiated.

An earlier source is the early Jewish custom of the bride and groom spending a week together alone immediately after the marriage feast. The earliest reference to this practice is Jacob's marriages to Leah and Rachel.

KISS THE BRIDE
T he kiss dates back to the earliest days of civilization in the Middle East. A kiss was used as the formal seal to agreements, contracts, etc. In Ancient Rome a kiss was still being used as the legal bold to seal contracts. Hence the obvious use of the custom at the end of the wedding ceremony to "seal" the marriage vows. It also originates from the earliest times when the couple would actually make love for the first time under the eyes of half the village!

LARGEST WEDDING
It was the largest mass wedding in history, when nearly 21,000 couples from the Moonie cult all got married on the same day. The event was also 'attended' by another 9,800 couples who took their vows via a satellite link.

LONGEST MARRIAGE
Sir Temulji Nariman and his wife Lady Nariman were hitched for a grand total of 86 years, although they did have a distinct advantage over most people. Both were aged just five when they got married.

MONTH TO MARRY
According to an old legend, the month in which you marry may have some bearing on the fate of the marriage:

* " Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true;
* When February birds do mate, you wed nor dread your fate;
* If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know;
* Marry in April when you can, joy for Maiden and for Man;
* Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day;
* Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you will go;
* Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred;
* Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see;
* Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine;
* If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry;
* If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember;
* When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last".

MOST MARRIAGES
Of course, it's a sad fact that not all marriages last. But some people really do seem to make a habit of getting divorced. The person who is credited with being married the most times is former Baptist minister Glynn Scotty Wolfe, who has taken on 28 brides - and divorced 27 of them.

MOST EXPENSIVE DRESS
Wedding dresses can make a major dent in your budget, but however much you spend it will be nothing compared to the outfit created by French designer Helene Gainville. Estimated to be worth a cool £3.5 million, the dress is embroidered with diamonds mounted on platinum. Not the sort of thing you would want to put in the attic after the wedding day.

OLDEST BRIDES
The oldest recorded bride was Minnie Munro, who got hitched at a sprightly 102 years of age. Minnie, from Australia, wed a toy boy of 82. Britain's oldest recorded bride was just one day off her 100th birthday when she took her vows with a man nearly 20 years her junior. Apparently the age gap was not thought to be a problem for them.

PLAYING PRANKS
Playing pranks on the newlywed couple was also a tradition, which began with the intentions of warding off evil spirits. Loyal friends of the couple would do this in hopes that the spirits would take pity on the couple for already being picked upon enough, and would then leave the couple alone.

RICE THROWING
Rice has been used as a symbol of fertility and as a wish for a "full pantry" in various parts of the world from ancient to modern times. In the past, rice was not the only thing thrown at the bride and groom as the left the wedding. Wheat, instead of rice, was thrown in France, figs and dates were thrown in Northern Africa, and a combination of coins, dried fruit, and candy was thrown in Italy. In some European countries eggs are thrown!

Rice is not harmful to the birds that eat it, but an article in California professing this to be the case, has caused birdseed to replace rice at most weddings. Flower petals, confetti, baubles, and balloons are often used today instead of rice.

RING
Rings were used as currency in the Middle East prior to the advent of coinage and were a sign of a persons wealth. In ancient times the wedding ring was thought to protected the bride from "evil spirits". Ancient Roman wedding rings were made of iron.

In early Rome a gold band came to symbolize everlasting love and commitment in marriage. Roman wedding rings were carved with two clasped hands. Very early rings had a carved key through which a woman was thought to be able to open her husband's heart.

RING FINGER
In 3rd. century Greece the ring finger was the index finger. In India it was the thumb. The western tradition began with the Greeks who believed that the third finger was connected directly to the heart by a route that was called "the vein of love."

SECOND WEDDINGS
In almost half of U.S. weddings either the bride or groom has been married previously.

SHOES TO THE CAR
This tradition originated in England during the Tudor period. At that time, guests would throw shoes at the bride and groom as they left in their carriage. It was considered good luck if their carriage was hit. Today, more often than not, it is beverage cans that are tied to a couples car instead of shoes. It should also be noted that the English consider it good luck if it rains on their wedding day!

STAG PARTIES
In Sparta, during the height of Greek civilization, soldiers were the first to hold stag parties. The groom would have a party for his friends the night before he was to marry. He would bid farewell to his bachelorhood and pledge his continued allegiance to his comrades.

SATURDAY WEDDINGS
In early times, for Christians, Sunday was the original day of choice for weddings because it was not a work day. The Puritan revolution in England during the 17th century changed all that - because the Puritans thought it improper to be festive on the Sabbath, Saturday.

SOMETHING "OLD", "NEW", "BORROWED", AND "BLUE"
The tradition of carrying one or more items that are "old", "new", "borrowed" and "blue" also comes from English. There is an old English rhyme describing the practice which also mentions a sixpence in the brides shoe. Something old, signifying continuity, could be a piece of lace, jewelry, or a grandmother's handkerchief. Something new, signifying optimism in the future, could be an article of clothing or the wedding rings. Something borrowed, signifying future happiness, could be handkerchief from a happily married relative or friend. Something blue, signifying modesty, fidelity and love, comes from early Jewish history. In early Biblical times, blue not white symbolized purity. Both the bride and groom usually wore a band of blue material around the bottom of their wedding attire, hence the tradition of "something blue". Originally the sixpence was presented to the bride by her future husband as a token of his love. Today, very often, it is the bride's father who places a coin in the brides shoe prior to leaving home for the church.

"TO TIE THE KNOT"
The term "tie the knot" also goes back Roman times. the bride would wear a girdle that was tied in many knots which the groom had the "duty" of untying.
is the most popular day for wedding now.

TOAST
The term originates from the sixteenth century. At that time a small piece of bread would be placed in a goblet of wine. The goblet would be passed from guest to guest until it reached the person being honored who would drain the goblet and eat the morsel of bread in the bottom. This tradition is practiced at weddings today - usually in the form of one or more champagne "toasts". The best man has the honor of giving the first toast. Usually the bride and groom remain seated for the toasts while all the guests are usually standing to honor them. The couple may then make a few remarks thanking their families, wedding party members, and guests. They may also "toast" each other or share a "toast" together. Often special glass or silver goblets are used by the bride and groom.

TIN CANS
The tradition of tying tin cans to the back of the newlywed's vehicle originated long ago when items which would produce noise were tied to the back of the couple's carriage to scare away evil spirits.

VEIL
Brightly colored veils were worn in ancient times in many parts of the world and were considered a protection against evil spirits Greek and Roman brides for yellow or red veils (representing fire) to ward off evil spirits and demons. At one time, Roman brides were completely covered with a red veil for protection.

In early European history, with the advent of arranged marriages veils served another purpose - to prevent the groom from seeing the brides' face till after the ceremony was over. Brides began to wear opaque yellow veils. Not only could the groom not see in, the bride could not see out! Therefore, the father of the bride had to escort her down the aisle and literally give the bride to the groom.

Nellie Custis, the daughter of Martha Washington, is credited with wearing the first lace veil.

Today, prior to a Jewish wedding ceremony, it is the groom who ritually "veils the bride". This tradition goes back to the marriage of Jacob to Leah (the older sister) when he thought he was marrying Rachel (the younger sister) whom he loved.

WEARING A WEDDING RING
The reason that the engagement ring and wedding band is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand is because the ancient Egyptians thought that the "vein of love' ran from this finger directly to the heart.

WEDDING AS A TERM
Although some brides were kidnapped, marriage by purchase was the preferred method of obtaining a wife. The "bride price" could be land, social status, political alliances, or cash. The Anglo-Saxon word "wed" meant that the groom would vow to marry the woman, but it also referred to the bride price (money or barter) to be paid by the groom to the bride's father. The root of the word "wedding" literally means to gamble or wager!

WHITE WEDDING DRESS AS TRADITION
The tradition for the bride to wear white began in the 16th century and is still commonly followed today. This is a symbol of the bride's purity and her worthiness of her groom. The tradition became solidified during the time of Queen Victoria who rebelled against the royal tradition for Royal brides to wear silver. Instead, the queen preferred the symbolism, which is expressed by wearing white. The brides of the time quickly emulated the queen, and the tradition has continued in full force to this day.

WHY THE BRIDE STANDS TO THE GROOMS LEFT
After the bridegroom captured his bride, he placed her on his left to protect her, thus freeing his right hand or sword hand against sudden attack.

WHY IT BECAME "BAD LUCK" FOR THE GROOM TO SEE BRIDE BEFORE THE CEREMONY
Until relatively recently, brides were considered the property of their father. Their futures and husbands were arranged without their consent. The marriage of an unattractive woman was often arranged with a prospective groom from another town without either of them having ever seen their prospective spouse. In more than one instance, when the groom saw his future wife, usually dressed in white, for the first time on the day of the wedding, he changed his mind and left the bride at the altar. To prevent this from happening, it became "bad luck" for the groom to see the bride on the day of the wedding prior to the ceremony.

Let's Talk About Cake

The Wedding Cake . . . history, customs and traditions


The history of the wedding cake goes back as far as the Roman Empire, well before the concept of elaborately icing a cake, was invented. Through the years, the wedding cake has become the focus of a variety of customs and traditions. Some of these customs have survived through time. Some have not. The custom of breaking the cake over the bride's head, is no longer practiced. The tradition may have its roots as far back as the Roman Empire. The groom would eat part of a loaf of barley bread baked especially for the nuptials and break the rest over his bride's head. History tells us that breaking the bread symbolized the breaking of the bride's virginal state and the subsequent dominance of the groom over her. As wedding cakes evolved into the larger, more modern version, it became physically impractical to properly break the cake over the bride's head. The tradition disappeared fairly quickly in some places, but there were still reports of breaking an oatcake or other breakable cakes over the bride's head in Scotland, in the 19th century. It's reported that in Northern Scotland, friends of the bride would put a napkin over her head and then proceed to pour a basket of bread over her. It's hard to say why some traditions endure and some do not, but the obvious male chauvinistic bent of this particular tradition probably leads to its early demise.

In Medieval England, cakes were described as breads which were flour-based foods without sweetening. No accounts tell of a special type of cake appearing at wedding ceremonies. There are, however, stories of a custom involving stacking small sweet buns in a large pile in front of the newlyweds. The couple would attempt to kiss over the pile. Success in the process was a sign that there would be many children in their future. .

First appearing in the middle of the17th century and well into the early 19th century, was a popular dish called the bride's pie. The pie was filled with sweet breads, a mince pie, or may have been merely a simple mutton pie. A main "ingredient" was a glass ring. An old adage claimed that the lady who found the ring would be the next to be married. Bride's pies were by no means universally found at weddings, but there are accounts of these pies being made into the main centerpiece at less affluent ceremonies. The name "bride cakes" emphasized that the bride was the focal point of the wedding. Many other objects also were given the prefix "bride," such as the bride bed, bridegroom and bridesmaid..

By the late 19th century, wedding cakes became really popular, and the use of the bride's pie disappeared. Early cakes were simple single-tiered plum cakes, with some variations. It was a while before the first multi-tiered wedding cake of today appeared in all its glory..

The notion of sleeping with a piece of cake underneath one's pillow dates back as far as the 17th century and quite probably forms the basis for today's tradition of giving cake as a "gift." Legend has it that sleepers will dream of their future spouses if a piece of wedding cake is under their pillow. In the late 18th century this notion led to the curious tradition in which brides would pass tiny crumbs of cake through their rings and then distribute them to guests who could, in turn, place them under their pillows. The custom was curtailed when brides began to get superstitious about taking their rings off after the ceremony..

In the minds of most people, wedding cakes are "supposed to be" white. The symbolism attached to the color white, makes explaining this tradition rather simple. White has always denoted purity, a notion as it relates to white wedding cake icing that first appeared in Victorian times. Another way in which a white wedding cake relates to the symbol of purity, has its basis in the fact that the wedding cake was originally referred to as the bride's cake. This not only highlighted the bride as the central figure of the wedding, but also created a visual link between the bride and the cake. Today, that link is being further strengthened as more contemporary brides have their wedding cakes coordinated with their wedding gown color, even if it's not white!.

Previous to Victorian times, most wedding cakes were also white, but not because of the symbolism. Using the color white for icing had a more pragmatic basis. Ingredients were very difficult to come by, especially those required for icing. White icing required the use of only the finest refined sugar, so the whiter the cake, the more affluent the families appeared. It was due to this fact that a white wedding cake became an outward symbol of affluence..

Wedding cakes take center stage in the traditional cake cutting ceremony, symbolically the first task that bride and groom perform jointly as husband and wife. This is one tradition that most of us have witnessed many times. The first piece of cake is cut by the bride with the "help" of the groom. This task originally was delegated exclusively to the bride. It was she who cut the cake for sharing with her guests. Distributing pieces of cake to one's guests is a tradition that also dates back to the Roman Empire and continues today. Following the tradition of breaking the bread over the bride's head, guests would scramble for crumbs that fell to the ground. Presumably the consumption of such pieces ensured fertility. But, as numbers of wedding party guests grew, so did the size of the wedding cake, making the distribution process impossible for the bride to undertake on her own. Cake cutting became more difficult with early multi-tiered cakes, because the icing had to be hard enough to support the cake's own weight. This, of necessity, made cutting the cake a joint project. After the cake cutting ceremony, the couple proceed to feed one other from the first slice. This provides another lovely piece of symbolism, the mutual commitment of bride and groom to provide for one another..

The Groom's Cake is a tradition that was prevalent in early American ceremonies, but seems to have fallen from favor in most contemporary weddings. The groom's cake was usually dark (e.g., chocolate) to contrast with the bride's cake. The groom's cake appeared at the reception along with the wedding cake. The origin of this tradition is unclear. Some believe it was to be served by the groom, with a glass of wine, to the bridesmaids. Others believe it was to be saved and subsequently shared with friends after the honeymoon. The tradition seems to have survived primarily in the South..

The once simple wedding cake has evolved into what today is a multi-tiered extravaganza. The multi-tiered wedding cake was originally reserved for English royalty. Even for the nobility, the first multi-tiered cakes were real in appearance only. Their upper layers were mockups made of spun sugar. Once the problem of preventing the upper layers from collapsing into the lower layers was solved, a real multi-tiered wedding cake could be created. Pillars as decoration existed long before multi-tiered cakes appeared, so it was a natural progression for cake bakers to try using pillars as a way to support the upper tiers. To prevent the pillars from sinking into the bottom tier, icing was hardened to provided the necessary support. .

There is hardly a bride today who can't resist saving the top layer of her multi-tiered cake. Most couples freeze the cake with the intention of sharing it on their first wedding anniversary. The tradition has its roots in the late 19th century when grand cakes were baked for christenings. It was assumed that the christening would occur soon after the wedding ceremony, so the two ceremonies were often linked, as were the cakes. With wedding cakes becoming more and more fancy and elaborate, the christening cake quickly took a back seat to the wedding cake. When three-tiered cakes became popular, the top tier was often left over. A subsequent christening provided a perfect opportunity to finish the cake. Couples could then logically rationalize the need for three tiers --- the bottom tier for the reception, the middle tier for distributing and the top for the christening. As the time between the weddings and the christenings widened, the two events became disassociated, and the reason for saving the top tier changed. Regardless of the underlying reason, when the couple finally does eat the top tier, it serves as a very pleasant reminder of what was their very special day.

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