8 ways to involve children in your wedding

Are you stumped for ways to include the little ones in your life in your wedding? Kristen Seymour wrote recently about how you can create roles for friends when you have too many friends for your bridal party. But what about the children who want a part of their own?

Kids can get restless at weddings, but give them a part in the big show, and they'll feel great to be an important part of the day.

Here are eight things kids can do in the wedding.

•Ring bearer: Traditionally a job for little boys, there's no reason a girl can't perform this task. My three-year-old niece did a marvelous job as ring delivery person at her father's wedding this summer.

•Flower girl: I was never more proud than when I was seven and my babysitter asked me to be a flower girl in her wedding. I felt like I was the star of the show.

•Children's story or sermon: A children's sermon was traditional in my husband's weekly church services. We decided to use it in our own wedding as a way to invite all the children to come forward and feel like they were involved in the day. It was a sweet moment -- and a great photo-op.

•Read a poem or Bible verse: If the kids in your family are natural performers, you could assign a short reading, or have a group of kids each read one line of a poem or Bible verse.

•Hand out programs: While groomsmen usher guests to their seats, station some kids at the entrance to hand out programs and greet people. This is a simple task that requires no training or planning in advance.

•Hand out rice, birdseed, or bubbles: Along the same lines as the programs, kids could hand out favors at your reception, like the rice, birdseed, or bubbles for when the couple makes their getaway.

•Special children's photo: While the bridal party is gathered for photos, invite all the children in attendance to join you for a special photo. This simple gesture shows the kids you are paying attention to them, even though it is a busy day for you and they probably aren't getting as much face time with you as they'd like.

•Help decorate the getaway car: Ask your bridal party to include the kids when they run off to decorate your car. This can be a particularly fun way for youngsters to take part in the celebration.
So, how will you be involving children in your wedding?




by Meg Massie

A Groom's Traditional Duties

Although one mother-of-the-bride told her future son-in-law, “You only have one job: show up on time,” grooms have a few more duties on their list.

•Select the engagement ring – although now-a-days brides may also be involved in choosing the engagement ring.

•Choosing his wedding party: best man, groomsmen and ushers

•Choosing the attire for the groom’s wedding party – in keeping with the style of the wedding

•Selecting thank-you gifts for his wedding party

•Arranging – and paying for – lodging for his wedding party

•Selecting a gift for the bride

•Compiling the groom’s part of the guest list and making sure that his parents provide their guest list.

•Planning the honeymoon – Today, this, is more of a joint venture

•Choosing wedding bands together

•Arranging for and purchasing the marriage license

•Making arrangements for transportation from the ceremony to the reception site, if necessary

•Planning the bachelor party or event (if applicable)

•Giving the ceremony officiant the fee or donation, or arranging for the best man to present such fees

•Standing in the receiving line, if there is one, or - with the bride – being sure to greet all the guests at the reception

•Making toasts and responding to toasts at the rehearsal dinner and the reception

•Dancing the first dance with the bride, dancing with the couple’s respective mothers and the maid/matron of honor

•Cutting the cake with the bride

By Peggy Post

Going About Wedding Plans

Thinking about planning a wedding can be exhausting. Here are some ways you can reduce your stress when planning your wedding.

Wedding plans need to be undertaken with lots of professionalism. Many times, you feel confused because you do not have the basics of what it takes to undertake wedding plans.

You can put an end to this confusion by looking for wedding planners. You do not have to hire planners because you can look for tools that will guide you to being a good planner.

For example, you will find online tools very useful and convenient. If you really want to make your event unforgettable, get to work and learn all the basics. When planning a wedding, you do not have to do it alone. You need others to help you make the day a big one.

However, you need to come together and speak in unison. This is because you will make it if only you work as a team. Once you have put in place your team, it is time to look deeper into the issues that need to be addressed to start planning the big event.

Wedding plans will always begin with budgeting. When you know how much you can spend, you will have a clear idea of the kind of wedding you can have. Many times, having a big sum of money to work with can prove to be very convenient for you. However, you might not always have a lot of money.

No money is ever enough so, you have to work with what you have. For example, you can get a wedding gown worth $30,000 while you can use the same amount to cater for all the needs of a wedding. Know where your limits are and work within your means.

Many are tempted to get into debts when it comes to wedding plans. However, instead of looking for more money to enhance your wedding, dedicate your time to looking for tips that will see you make the most out of the little you have. There are so many high budget weddings that do not meet expectations; therefore, it has little to do with money and everything to do with creativity and style.

After you have considered the budget of all aspects, it is time to go into detail to ensure that you know what you really want. Look at your theme ideas and know what will suit you best. The bride and the groom need to decide on the theme that will best represent them. The designs and decor will also follow.

The venues or locations of your wedding reception or party will also matter. Look at the style you are willing to work with and make sure that everything is in harmony. When it comes to the dresses, the gown needs to reflect the splendor of the atmosphere. The colors will either work for you or ruin your wedding plans.

Look for colors that compliment each other. Let them speak to the mood of the wedding. Look for different things that can make your wedding even more unique. Your cake, food and favors can be different and elegant. It is the detail that will constitute the success of your wedding.

Thank-you Note Stationery

Q. I have note cards with my married initials on them. Should I use these to write thank-you notes for my shower gifts or should I wait until I am married and use something else in the meantime?

A. Wait until you are married before you break out the stationery monogrammed with your married initials. Fold-over note cards are fine to use for shower thank-you’s. You can use your monogrammed maiden-name stationery, too.

There is no single stationery required for thank-you notes, although you’ll probably use a standard one-sided or single-fold note card and matching envelope. The paper can be plain or bordered, white, ivory, ecru or a pastel color. Use ink that is easy to read; black ink is always legible.

A bride signs with her maiden name (or pre-marriage name, if an encore bride) before the wedding, and signs her married name afterward. When using monogrammed stationery, the notes sent by the bride before the wedding have her maiden name initials; post-wedding notes have her married initials or the couple’s last-name initial.

Grooms can write thank-you notes, too! When husbands and wives share monogrammed stationery, the last/married name initial, hyphenated initials, or double last-name initials (when the wife keeps her maiden name) are used.

By Peggy Post

Wedding Thank-you's

There is nothing more appreciated than a lovely handwritten thank-you note.


When should notes be written?

Contrary to popular myth, the happy couple does not have a year’s grace period. All thank you notes should be written within three months of the receipt of the gift. Ideally, a response should be written on the day you receive a wedding gift. If that’s not possible, set a daily goal. It’s a lot easier to write three or four notes a day than to have to write a hundred notes in a month after the wedding!

What stationery should be used?
First of all, stationery is the operative word here: No fill-in-the-blank cards, no pre-printed cards, no phone calls, no emails and no generic post on your website!

Who needs a note?

•Anyone who gives you an engagement, shower or wedding gift, even if you have thanked them in person. Individual notes should be written to people who contributed to a group gift.

•Anyone who gives a gift of money: cash, checks, contributions to savings accounts and donations to charities. Mentioning the amount is optional, but it does let the person know the correct amount was received. You should mention what you plan to do with the money.

•Your attendants. A warm personal note attached to your gifts to your attendants will let them know how much you appreciate their efforts and support on your behalf.

•Anyone who hosted a party or shower for you. Ideally these notes should be written within two days of the event. Each host or hostess should be thanked individually with a note and a thank you gift.

•People who house or entertain your wedding guests. A note and a small gift should be sent to anyone who houses or entertains out-of-town wedding guests.

•People who do kindnesses for you. The neighbor who accepts delivery of your gifts when you are at work; the cousin who supervises the parking at the reception – anyone who assists you before, during or after your wedding.

•Suppliers and vendors. You don’t have to write everyone you hire for services, but anyone who exceeds your expectations will appreciate a courteous note of thanks.

•Your parents or whoever is hosting your wedding.
Ten Do’s and Don’ts of Thank You Notes

1.Do personalize your notes and make reference to the person as well as the gift.

2.Do remember that a gift should be acknowledged with the same courtesy and generous spirit in which it was given.

3.Do be enthusiastic, but don’t gush. Avoid saying a gift is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen unless you really mean it.

4.Don’t send form letters or cards with printed messages and just your signature; don’t use email or post a generic thank you on your wedding web site in lieu of a personal note.

5.Do promptly acknowledge the receipt of shipped gifts by sending a note right away or calling and following up with a written note in a day or two.

6.Don’t mention that you plan to return a gift or that you are dissatisfied in any way.

7.Don’t tailor your note to the perceived value of the gift; no one should receive a perfunctory note.

8.Do refer to the way you will use a gift of money. Mentioning the amount is optional.
9.Don’t include wedding photos or use photo cards if it will delay sending the note.

10.Don’t use being late as an excuse not to write. Even if you are still sending notes after your first anniversary, keep writing!

By Peggy Post

Part II Deciding To Invite Kids To Your Wedding

Weddings are full of details, choices, and decisions. Not everyone agrees on what they like and do not like. Some have conflicting feelings and thoughts. But the decisions must still be made.

One of the decisions that face a couple today is whether or not to invite children.

This decision can be problematic, because everybody seems to have an opinion. You may have a family member who insists, If you have children there, I will not come. Or you may have someone else insist, Unless you invite the children, I will not come. How do you win?

Your feelings count on this critical issue. Children may pose a personal threat or blessing in your mind, but either way your feelings count.

Do you dream of family or do you envision an adult event with adult activities?

Some suggest that you view all of your wedding decisions with this philosophy, It is my wedding and I will do what I please. Unfortunately: very few of live on an island by ourselves. There are real pressures. If we make selfish decisions, there will be consequences. If we bend to the whims of others, there will be consequences.

So, this can be a tough decision.

There are many versions of this decision. You may choose to say nothing one way or another. You may choose to invite the children, but not use children in your ceremony. It is still your choice.

If you invite the children to attend, it is a good idea to provide for them. This may be done in many different ways: Have ushers or attendants ready to assist parents with their children as needed. Have a separate cry room or other child care facility nearby to help parents.

Saying nothing usually tells your guests, Do your own thing. Indeed, this is the most common way this decision is made. The parents decide what they want. In most cases, this works fine. However, consider the setting for your wedding and reception. If it is going to entail definitively adult elements, it may be wise to simply make a note on your invitation like this, Reception will have adult venue.

The children themselves my really be excited about your wedding and be thrilled to attend. In most cases, the children will sit with their parents and behave like ladies and gentlemen under the watchful eye of their parents.

If you love children, they make everything worthwhile. They ignite feelings of enthusiasm that few adults can match. They make us laugh and cry. They can turn ordinary into extraordinary. Children are in many ways what family weddings are all about. If you are fortunate enough to enjoy them. Still, it is your choice to invite or not to invite children to your wedding.

Careful thoughtful planning can resolve potential problems either way. A suggestion, that your reception will include an adult venue, will alert parents and they will understand. Planning for the children will help reduce problems and keep things running smoothly.

Popping Another Question: Invite Children?

THE $150 HAPPY MEAL Some couples see children as cute wedding guests; others think they are disasters waiting to happen.



IT’S a question almost every bride thinks about. Does she want children — at her wedding?

There are pros and cons: They photograph well, but they steal attention. They don’t drink, but don’t always keep the costly food on their plates. Are children cute guests or annoying disasters waiting to happen?

Surprisingly, there is less professional guidance on the topic than a bride and bridegroom might hope for. Of the hundreds of wedding planning books on the Barnes & Noble Web site, there isn’t one exclusively devoted to it. Yet for all the histrionics associated with brides, few of their decisions are as likely to bring similar caterwauling from the guests.

“It is one of the biggest questions: ‘Are you going to invite kids?’ ” said Sharon Naylor, the author of “The Bride’s Diplomacy Guide” (Adams Media, 2007). She is inviting 30 children to her own wedding in April at the Park Savoy in Florham Park, N.J., where she plans a children’s food station, set low to the ground, so “the short people can help themselves to hot dogs and mac and cheese.”

According to Ms. Naylor, many event sites (including the one she is using) have begun offering free or discounted meals for children. This has made their inclusion easier on the budget, especially if inviting one cousin’s child requires you to invite the offspring of your other six cousins. “The trend is changing,” she said, because more families are spread out geographically and weddings have become one of the few opportunities for older and younger generations to bond.

But that doesn’t mean children are implicitly welcome at every wedding. Ms. Naylor said one of the biggest complaints from brides is that guests write in the names of uninvited children on R.S.V.P. cards.

Charifa Clark, 32, chose not to invite children to her wedding in Oklahoma City in November 2006. She was shocked, she said, when one of her guests sent back an R.S.V.P. card with 10 names, including children and grandchildren.

“They attached a paper with the names, because they couldn’t fit all 10 on the card,” she said.

Ms. Clark, who owns a real estate development and management company in Brooklyn, called the guest. And though the call was uncomfortable for both parties, she said, the guest apologized for the misunderstanding.

“Nobody’s sure of the etiquette,” said Annabel Torrey, 28, who said that she wished she had made calls before her invitations were sent to explain why she wasn’t inviting children.

The location she selected in Malibu, Calif., was not a traditional event site, meaning that she had to provide kitchen equipment, chairs, linens, tableware and even electricity generators.

“I felt overwhelmed at the prospect of planning for kids, too,” Ms. Torrey said.

And it never occurred to her that guests would bring children who weren’t included on the invitation. “You’d be amazed how many people wrote in the names,” she said.

Jessica Casano-Antonellis, 28, was blunt about the subject. “It was $150 a plate,” Ms. Casano-Antonellis, a public relations executive, said of her wedding to Alexis Casano-Antonellis in Quincy, Mass. “Why would we want to pay for a five-year-old?”

The only children present were in their wedding party, and their parents were forced to leave early, she said, “because the kids were falling asleep.”

Yet Alex Cohen, 35, and Richard Dean, 42, never considered an adult-only wedding.

“For us it was a no-brainer,” said Ms. Cohen, a reporter for National Public Radio, who welcomed 10 children among her 100 guests at the Villagio Inn and Spa in Yountville, Calif. “Our nephew played ‘Here Comes the Bride’ on the violin, which was the hit of the wedding.”

Of course, it helped that Ms. Cohen, who is also a member of a roller derby team, wanted a laid-back, offbeat affair. With ushers on skates and dogs in tuxedos, the children had to fight off the grown-ups for a turn in the inflatable bounce house.

There are more conventional options for including children.

Rachel Payne, a children’s librarian in Brooklyn, invited 15 children but “we didn’t have the resources or space to have a huge party,” she said. Ms. Payne, 38, who was married last November in Manhattan, decided to have a children’s party in a separate room, providing baby sitters and child-friendly food.

The under-age crowd was invited back to the big room for dancing after dinner. “We could have more space for adults and allow friends to have some time away from their kids and enjoy the wedding,” she said.

Ms. Naylor called that approach “a kids V.I.P. party,” which she said is becoming very popular.

She recommended renting carnival games and DVDs. And she urged couples to use licensed baby sitters, preferably certified in C.P.R.

Ms. Naylor said that couples should expect to provide sitters for the children of out-of-town guests even if they are not invited. “Whether they’re there or not, you have to plan for children,” she said.

But Kate Edmonds Donner, an event planner in New York, said the best plan is to leave children at home or send them home after the ceremony.

“If it’s a formal wedding, children should go home after the cocktail hour,” she said. Practicing what she preaches, Ms. Edmonds Donner and her husband, Alex Donner, the society band leader, did not invite children to their wedding last year in Garrison, N.Y.

“I wanted my friends to have a relaxed, fabulous, romantic evening,” she said. “Children under 10 need to be watched like hawks.”

She is not immune to the charms of “adorable children dancing their hearts out,” she said, and appreciated the entertainment value.

But she remained skeptical. “Shouldn’t everybody be watching the bride and groom?”




By DEVAN SIPHER "New York Times"

How To Tell Friends They Are Not Invited

In a perfect world (kinda like the picture above, I would imagine) none of your friends or co-workers would put you on the spot and ask if they are invited to your wedding. But in reality, it happens.

With the current economic situation, you may be scaling down your guest list and that’s OK! Gone are the times of super-sized guests lists. Now, more than ever couples are including their families and close friends only – sometimes even cutting out their extended families to save cash.

Here are 4 great ideas on what to say if you’re put into an awkward situation.

If you’re having a small wedding say: “We really wish we could invite all of our friends, but we’ve decided to keep the wedding as an intimate family affair.”

If the above isn’t entirely true, but your friend didn’t make the cut say: “Since we have large extended families, our guest list is relatives only.”

If your paying, blame it on the economy: “Because we’re paying for the wedding ourselves, we’ve had to cut down on the size of the event so it is more afforable for us.”

If you’re parents are paying, blame them: ” ___ and ___ are footing the bill and I need to stick to their budget and heat count, so unfortunately I can’t invite everyone I’d like to.”


Info posted by "littlethings&favors"

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Arresting Beauty of Fall Flowers Speak the Language of Autumn

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Fall flowers have a special beauty that makes its own place in the hearts of fall flowers lovers. Generally during the fall the only thing that we get to see around us is foliage. The colors that are dominant are browns and other earthen colors. Shrubs and trees that bear colorful leaves are the only thing that remind us of fall and other autumn related things. But what most people do not know is that flowers also are an important aspect of fall.

What, one may wonder, are the different flowers that are ideally suited for decorations for parties and weddings in the fall season?

In the category of flowers, Lilies for example set a beautiful background. Mini calla lilies have the most beautiful and the widest variety of colors. They can be matched and set to co-ordinate with different themes. The vibrant colors can be made to suit all kinds of needs and moods.

Marigolds also have a special say in the category of fall flowers. They come in different colors and can be used sensibly to match our needs. There are two main varieties of marigold that showcase the colors of the fall. They come in a mix of red and yellow, and orange which complement the existing browns in the season of fall.

Roses have been the traditional all time favorite among fall flowers, and are most popular for occasions that symbolize love, such as fall weddings and romantic dates. In fact they are available anytime anywhere, and are especially popular with people in love.

Hydrangea is another fall flower that suits the hues of the fall. Hydrangeas have a nice and delicate look that complements the beauty of the fall season. It is the most popular of all the fall wedding flowers that are used in marriage ceremonies and are constantly in demand. The most attractive part about hydrangea is that they are cheaper than most of their cousins.

Fall flowers in their full glory convey a lot of messages. The aggressiveness of the summer and the peacefulness of the winters is combined and shown in the colors of the fall flowers.

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By Jasnav Nagpal

Choosing a Venue For Your Reception

There are many important questions you need to ask when trying to narrow down a location. Here are a few pointers.

Many sites are booked at least a year in advance, so it’s best to begin the hunt early. The most desirable locations will usually be reserved first. If the location of your choice is booked Saturday’s check the possibility of having your wedding & reception on Friday evening or Sunday afternoon.

Many couples prefer to have the ceremony and reception at the same place. This lessens the time spent traveling to the reception and reduces the chance that some guests may get lost or not attend.

Guests enjoy watching the couple get their wedding photos taken. This also provides a relaxing atmosphere for guests to chat together. Many of the guests will not have seen each other in quite a long while if your family is anything like mine.

Prepare a list of questions ahead of time so you get all the information you need during your visit.

■Visit your chosen facility when it is set up for a wedding.

■Get all the details in writing, and check the expiration date of the cost estimates.

■Be sure to ask the facility how many weddings it books at one time. If two wedding receptions are taking place at one time, it may take away from your special event. You may also find people wandering into the wrong reception.

■Consider how much service the staff at the site will offer you. Be sure to ask this question when considering a site for the reception.

■Will a personal coordinator from the staff be present during the event to be sure things are running smoothly?

■How should you contact the staff if they are in another reception or down the hallway in the ballroom? Be sure to ask lots of questions concerning the availability of the assistance from the staff.
Once you have taken care of these details, one of the hardest parts of the wedding will be finished.


Written by David Di Cristo in Wedding

How to Choose a Mother of the Groom Dress

Being the mother of the groom is a very exciting time in your life and you’ll no doubt want to look your very best on his big day! Traditionally, the focus of this day has been on the bride and her mom but this wedding is as much yours as it is anyone elses. It’s time to have fun choosing a dress! As the mother of the groom, you’ll not only be very excited and caught up in the day but you’ll also have some specific roles to play and duties to fill, such as possibly standing in a receiving line. Because of these, there are some things you’ll want to take into consideration when choosing your mother of the groom dress.

The first thing you must do before you even start looking at pictures of dresses is to sit down with your son and future daughter-in-law. Find out what the formality of the event will be, and what wedding colors they’ve chosen. It’s important to find out what the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses will be and the color of the mother-of-the-bride’s dress. Mother of the grooms should never wear the same color as the bridesmaids but you also don’t want the color of your dress to clash with the wedding party!

Once you’ve talked to your son and his fiancé, you might want to consider talking to the mother of the bride. It’s considered proper etiquette that you wait until the mother of the bride has purchased her dress but this might not be necessary. If you don’t live nearby to each other, or you don’t know each other that well, you could speak to your daughter-in-law to find out what her mom is wearing. While you also don’t want to match with what she’s wearing, you do want to make sure you’ll be well coordinated. If the mother of the bride is wearing yellow, for example, you might want to consider something in a nice green shade. If the mother of the bride is wearing a long gown, you might also want to wear something similar in length.

After you’ve found out what the mother of the bride and the wedding party will be wearing, it’s time for the most important part! Now you get to flip through magazines and walk through bridal salons or department stores, searching their racks for something you love! Of course, you’ll want to take things such as style and color of dress into consideration. But also consider what type of fabric you want to wear. If it’s a fall wedding, you might want a heavier fabric, while a nice sheer and shimmery fabric might be perfect for an outdoor summer wedding.

Most importantly, choose a mother of the groom dress that you love and feel comfortable in. If you’re unsure of what you’ll like, flip through bridal magazines or look online. Bridal websites usually have a section for mother of the grooms that will give you some great ideas. Most bridal magazines also have complete sections that focus on mother of the groom dresses and soon, you’ll have the most trouble narrowing down the dress that you want!



By Kate Beswick

Ideas for your Wedding Reception Tables: Setup and Design

When you envision your wedding reception, you most likely see your happy guests sitting at reception tables, eating and being entertained. While wedding reception tables used to be fairly standard and typical in design, they have come a long way in the past few years and they are now used as a huge part of the overall wedding reception theme. Because of this, you not only want wedding reception tables that are stunningly beautiful, but you also want your guests to be comfortable at them while they talk to their friends and enjoy their dinner. There is certainly a lot to consider. But, in order to avoid becoming overwhelmed at the thought of tables, here are a few pointers on wedding reception tables that will get you started!


Layout
Of course, the first thing you’ll need to consider is how many tables you want, as well as the shape of them. Generally, long and rectangular tables are best suited for smaller weddings with fewer guests. A great idea for very small parties is to go with an L-shaped sectional table. This will allow the wedding party to sit in the middle of the group with the entire group along both sides of them.

Very large weddings are usually prone to smaller groups of round tables. This is a great way to get people together who have never met before, while still allowing guests to sit with the people they came with.

Centerpieces
There’s no doubt that what’s going to make or break your wedding reception tables are the centerpieces. These can be very costly or very cheap, depending on what you have in mind. Flowers are very traditional but can be very expensive, especially if you’re using fresh. Candles are also very popular and these are very simple centerpieces to make yourself. Choose floating candles using your wedding colors or have small tapered candles in the center of the table. There are tons of things you can do with candle centerpieces!

If you want truly unique wedding centerpieces, create them in the same theme as your wedding. If you’re having a beach wedding, create small centerpieces that display seashells and tea light candles in a hurricane lamp. If you’re having a Christmas wedding, place a pile of presents in the center of the table, with a name of a guest on each gift. Inside, place small plates that read things such as “Joy”, “Love”, and, “Peace.” Your happy wishes for them will be a gift in itself but these can also serve as your wedding favors!

The Head Table
You can’t talk about wedding reception tables without touching on the head table. Generally, the head tables are long rectangular tables set up in the front of the room. Typically these tables have been outlandishly decorated with swags of tulle draping off of them. But you don’t need to go to this extravagance to make sure that your special table is noticed. If you want a more subtle, and cheaper option, consider buying runners in your wedding colors. These can often be purchased at the dollar store. These runners are narrow pieces of fabric that typically run the length of the table.

To give the runners a special look, lay them so that they drape across the width of the table, instead of the length. If your wedding colors are pink and brown, drape one pink, then one brown and so on. In the middle of the table, lay 3 of the same color side by side to give it an extra flair!





Written by Kate Beswick in Wedding